


Don’t Be A Cliché

by BroodyJC



Series: And I Can't Be Without You (Then, Why Did You Leave?) [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, High School AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroodyJC/pseuds/BroodyJC
Summary: “Lucy, we’ve all known for quite a while.” James wraps his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders, kisses the side of her head. “Remember last week before your Physics’ class? When Kara just stopped talking and started to blush real hard? Lena had just walked past us.”“Soccer tryouts three weeks ago when Kara let the ball hit her face? She saw Lena reading on the bleachers.” Alex complements, Kara slides further down on her seat.“Kara running into the pillar yesterday afternoon? She saw Lena laughing when she left the Chemistry lab with Alex.” Kara is going to kill Winn.Lucy lets her mouth hang open, giving Kara her best look of shook, before glaring everyone at the table.“I am ashamed of all of you for not letting me know about this.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, shakes her head. “It makes so much sense know.” And she smiles, as if she knows something the others don’t. “So, Kara, are you going to ask her to the game tomorrow?”





	1. Shophomore Year

The first time she was caught staring happened on a Thursday, six weeks into her sophomore year.

And yes, she could’ve been more subtle about the whole thing, but she couldn’t help herself. Kara was used to always being the first one to get into class, usually ten minutes before the bell rang, and she would sit down by the second chair at the wall, wait for the minutes to pass with an open book on her hands.

No one could really blame her for the audible gasp she let out. She’s used to her routine, so when she walks in to see Lena Luthor (yes, the same Lena Luthor who made her choke on air every time they crossed paths on the hall and, according to Alex, was becoming kind of pathetic) already there.

On the seat right next to hers, a thick book opened around its middle section. And Kara’s mouth definitely does not hang open when Lena hears the noise, lips stilling around the highlighter (oh, God, why did she have to be doing that?), as her eyes come up.

Maybe Kara should move, because it’s been an uncomfortable amount of time since she came to a stop. Also, maybe Lena shouldn’t be looking so good today, in an oversized red hoodie, hair up in a messy bun and her glasses.

Lena smiles at her, it’s small push at the corner of her lips followed by a lip bite that makes Kara hold back a whimper, turn her head down and fumble on her own feet twice before slumping down on the chair.

She is sure Lena catches her staring as she pretends to read her book, and as she looks up at Miss Grant when she walks in, and then again on the six times Kara pretended she’s just checking to make sure Winn is here (he is, she saw him on the second time, but it’s still nice to see the little hidden smile on Lena’s lips).

**

Winn mentions it. Because of course he does. Kara was expecting it, she really was, she just thought it wouldn’t be on the cafeteria, with all her friends around, in the middle of their conversation, which made all of them stop and stare at her.

She thought she couldn’t get any redder than this morning, as Lena kept sending her side glances, but, oh boy, was she wrong.

Four pairs of eyes lock at her, she tries to shrink down her shoulders, disappear while sitting and not face this conversation. Ever.

“What?” Alex asks, raised eyebrow and amused smile, as her eyes flicker through her sister and Winn.

“Lena sat at Kara’s side today, and Kara kept sending her heart eyes.”

“Winn!”

“Which Lena?” Lucy looks at Winn, waits for an answer. When she gets none, she turns to Alex. “Which Lena?”

“Luthor.”

“Oh.” She grips at James’ arm, his grin growing wider at his girlfriend excitement. “So you like her?”

Kara never wanted to run away as much as she did right now.

Winn gave her an apologetic smile by her side and she forced herself to look up, at Lucy trying to contain her eagerness, James trying to control his fit of giggles and Alex giving her the _don’t you dare bolt out of here_ look.

When Kara doesn’t answer, Alex snorts, Lucy turns at her.

“Kara’s been all Lena this, Lena that, for about a year now.”

“I have not.”

“Oh, sis, you have. It’s cute.”

“How did I not know about this? Kara, I thought we were friends!”

“Lucy, we’ve all known for quite a while.” James wraps his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders, kisses the side of her head. “Remember last week before your Physics’ class? When Kara just stopped talking and started to blush real hard? Lena had just walked past us.”

“Soccer tryouts three weeks ago when Kara let the ball hit her face? She saw Lena reading on the bleachers.” Alex complements, Kara slides further down on her seat.

“Kara running into the pillar yesterday afternoon? She saw Lena laughing when she left the Chemistry lab with Alex.” Kara is going to kill Winn.

Lucy lets her mouth hang open, giving Kara her best look of shook, before glaring everyone at the table.

“I am ashamed of all of you for not letting me know about this.” She crosses her arms in front of her chest, shakes her head. “It makes so much sense know.” And she smiles, as if she knows something the others don’t. “So, Kara, are you going to ask her to the game tomorrow?”

**

Sometimes, Kara really hates her friends. Like, really hates them.

(But there are other times, Kara just wants to thank them so, so much. She’s still not sure how she feels right now.)

Lucy had one arm around her shoulders as they walked the crowded hallways, right after being released from Coach Vasquez office along with the rest of the team. If Kara had stopped to think about it, she would’ve noticed the way too big smile and the timed fit giggles.

But Kara just shrugged it off, she just wanted to go to the cafeteria and finally have her break. See her sister. Talk to James. Steal Winn’s food.  

What she doesn’t expect to see is a fourth figure already accommodated at Alex’s side. Kara tries to turn around, but Lucy’s hold around her tightens, and before she’s ready, they’ve reached their table.

Lucy drops her bag and takes her seat next to James, which leaves the seat in front of Lena the only one available. Alex is looking at her with that look (she really hates she got the same look twice in the expanse of two days) and she just looks pointedly at Lena’s direction.

And Kara sees the way Lena watches the change in Alex’s face and she finally looks at where Kara is standing. (Kara really hates her friends.)  For a second, in which Lena just smiles at her, she forgets how to breathe. She tugs at the strap of her backpack, tries to sit down without embarrassing herself (she fails).

The small chuckle she gets in response after her double bump against the table is enough of a reward. She smiles at the girl in front of her.

“Hello, Kara.”

She panics, ( _she knows my name, Lena actually knows my name, oh God, she just said my name, and how are her lips so pretty?_ ) eyes widening until she feels her sister kicking her shin under the table.

When Kara looks at her, there’s just one shared look before she goes back at the conversation between Winn, James and Lucy. It’s when she realizes it’s just her and Lena. _Oh God._

“Hey.”

And she stares, it’s simple like that. She doesn’t know for how long, but she does and when Lena’s lips start moving she forces herself to snap out of her own thoughts.

“What?” Lena laughs, that’s a sound Kara really wants to hear again.

“I asked if you are okay, Kara.”

“Yeah, totally. Why wouldn’t I be?” She brings her hand to scratch at the back of her neck. “I just didn’t know you knew them.”

“We’ve met before a couple of times.” Lena tilts her head to the side, tongue darting out to wet her lips. Kara’s fingers push her glasses back into place before fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Just nervous.”

“About?” _You and your stupid perfect smile._

Kara shrugs.

“The game, I think.” Lena’s head nods in acknowledge. She smiles.

“Oh, first game of the season right? Are you playing?”

She bites the inside of her cheek, takes a deep breath.

“Coach said I should go in during the second half.”

“And you’re nervous about the big debut?” Lena raises an eyebrow, smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Kara nods, runs her hand through her hair (she thanks her past self once she sees Lena’s eyes following the movement, hands twitching on top of the table). “You shouldn’t be, you know? I‘ve seen you play before, you’re really good.”

Kara blushes, tucks her hair behind her ear, and ducks her face down. She can feel the blood rushing to her cheeks, the tips of her ears and her chest, as an awkward chuckle leaves her mouth. But, when she looks up, as embarrassed as she is, all she sees is Lena’s smile, and she wouldn’t mind going through all of this again.

_Act cool. Act cool. Act cool. Don’t be awkward. More awkward._

(Just gazing at Lena’s eyes is not awkward, right?)

She feels a hand on her shoulder, she looks at her side and sure enough, Lucy is getting up among the others.

“Hate to cut this short, girls, but time to go.”

Lena gives Lucy this small smile (Kara definitely does not find it adorable) before getting up, swinging her bag over her shoulder and gathering her things. Kara follows, not as gracefully, pushing back her glasses.

“It was nice finally getting to talk properly to you, Kara.”

“It was.”

“I’ll see you around?”

She nods, Lena clutches her notebooks against her chest and turns around to leave.

Alex is by her side before she realizes what’s happening. She crosses her arms in front of herself, leans to the side to whisper to Kara.

“If you don’t go after her and ask her to come to your game, I swear I’ll lock you two in the janitor’s closet on Monday. Do you want to be a cliché, Kara?”

“No.”

“Then go, kid.”

Kara takes one last deep, calming breath before sprinting to Lena.

She catches her just before the door, putting a hand on her arm, slightly breathless when she stares again at those eyes and raised eyebrow.

The words are caught in the back of her throat and she knows (she really knows) if she looks back right now she’ll be able to see Alex facepalming. And if Kara wasn’t in enough trouble before, she sure is now, because Lena is smirking. Honest to God smirking.

“Is there something you want to ask me, Kara?”

“Are you coming tonight? To the game. Will you be there?”

“Is that an invitation?”

She gulps, breaths in and out slowly and tries to control her racing heart.

“Yes.” Lena’s grin is likely the most beautiful sight she’s ever seen.

“At seven?”

“Seven.”

“Then I’ll see you at seven.”

Kara stands there, watching Lena turn around with a simple wave of her hand, smile slowly taking over her expression. Alex pats her back, gives her a nod before pushing her forward.

“Okay, now go to class, you still have to study.”

“But, Alex, I forgot to eat.”

“Then maybe next time you shouldn’t spend all lunch staring at Lena.”

**

Kara does not spend all of her time on the bench gazing back at where she spotted Lena earlier.

She’s just taking in the crowd. And it’s totally not intentional if her eyes keep going back to the same spot.

Eventually, she stops (it’s not like she spent good sixty five minutes just pretending she was actually paying attention to the game instead of the girl on the third row from the top). She stops because she’s coming in. She wasn’t this nervous since earlier today, when Lena smiled at her.

Speaking of, she takes one more look up as she stands on the sideline. Lena waves at her.

If she plays harder than ever before, it’s definitely not to impress her.

**

Lena never misses her games.

But she’s never at the end of them.

**

Slowly, Kara’s routine changes and, for the first time, Kara doesn’t really mind.

Because it changes so she can adapt Lena into it. It’s on the small things, really. It’s on how Kara would become the first student to leave her fourth period so she could accidently bump into Lena on their way to lunch; it’s on how Kara started trusting on their cafeteria lunch (she really should not have done that) so she could enjoy the five extra minutes on the line with Lena and her smile; it’s on how Kara hasn’t read for three weeks before Miss Grant’s class, choosing to spend her ten minutes trying to make Lena laugh.

Lena fits in, she find out. In a way no one ever actually did before.

And what started as a silly admiration (huge crush, who is she even kidding at this moment?), developed into much more. It scares Kara, not how much she feels (Alex always said she felt things too strongly), but how fast she feels.

It scares her, just not enough to make her leave.

**

Kara concentrates on moving her pencil as delicately as she can, even though she knows Lena is standing just a couple of feet away from her.

This is another thing they started doing: waiting for each other after Friday’s classes. It was the only day their schedules allowed them more than ten minutes together and Kara was going to take what she could get.

It had started roughly two weeks ago when Kara was leaving her class while Lena was walking down the hall, since then, Lena just kind of started waiting for Kara, leaning against the doorframe. They would walk to the parking lot, where Alex would already be waiting for her, and talked until Alex couldn’t spare another loud sigh, so she would drag Kara by the sleeve of her sweater as she waved goodbye at Lena.

(When they were alone, she usually asked if Kara had asked for her number yet, the answer was always the same.)

(Who is she kidding, it happened twice, three times with today, but her routine is no longer the same and she’s not really complaining.)

Except that today, Kara was running late. Nothing but a couple of minutes, to be honest, but she really wanted to finish her drawing before going home. And Lena just kinda slipped in.

And now she’s standing even closer to Kara, since she is sure if she leaned just enough to her side, she could feel the back of Lena’s hand against her arm.

Maybe she’s a little nervous (again, it seems a recurring thing for her every time Lena is around). Maybe she’s taking a little longer than necessary because they’re spending the next two days away from each other. Maybe (definitely) Alex is going to kill her for taking so long when she leaves.

“Of course you draw.” It’s barely a whisper, but it feels right. Just the two of them on the room, Lena’s hand hovering her lower back and her soft breathing against the side of Kara’s head.

It feels like, anything louder than that would break whatever moment they were having. _Not a moment,_ Kara reminds herself.

Lena watches the last two strokes of Kara’s pencil, and, for once, she doesn’t tease Kara when she fumbles to pack her things or when she trips while getting up on her feet. She merely raises an eyebrow at the blonde, adjusts the strap of her backpack over her shoulder.

(Kara really needs to learn how to not blush around her.)

“Good to go?”

“Yeah.”

It’s intimidating finally being with Lena without people around _them_. Because her friends were always with them or, if not, there were always, at least, two dozen students around.

Kara doesn’t actually know what to do with her hands, so after playing with the hem of her t-shirt, she shoves them inside her front pockets.

(Her hand just really, really itches to tuck the strand of black hair falling in front of Lena’s face.)

She clears her throat, Lena’s head turns to look at her in response. And she can’t keep her train of thought while green eyes look at her like that, so she dips her head down, focus her vision on each step she takes and hopes she won’t stumble into something.

(Like it happened at least four times already. But Lena always laughed, so it wasn’t really that bad.)

“Do you know what you’re doing on winter break?”

“Lex is coming home, Lillian is thinking about Canada.”

Kara bites her lip, takes in a deep breath.

“You’re spending a week in Canada?”

“Or so.”

“When are you going?”

“Next Friday. After your game.”

Kara opens the door for her, let’s her out first, uses the couple of seconds she has to let out a frustrated sigh, before catching up with Lena.

Because she remembers last month, during Thanksgiving, when Alex couldn’t stand another minute next to her because Lena wasn’t around as much.

She knows it’s going to be much worse this time. She’s way closer to Lena now.

They head to where Alex is, two helmets in hand and jacket wrapped firmly against her body. She gives them a smile and a nod, and Kara understands she has a few more minutes. She twitches her fingers inside her pockets, gives Lena another look.

“What about you, Kara? What is the Superstar doing?” She smiles at the term, it’s theirs, it feels intimate.

“Dinner with family, enjoying Alex being around, Star Wars marathon with Winn. The usual. Not as exciting as Canada.”

“Believe me, Kara, I would trade them in a minute for Star Wars and you.” And this (among many other things) is what makes her heart beat faster in her chest. Because something as simple as a phrase holds so much power over her. Or maybe is the person who said it. But this is also what makes her heart clench, because she has to remind herself they’re friends. Just friends. “Monday?”

“Monday.”

Lena wraps one hand around her forearm, gives it a gentle squeeze, their eyes meet and, in a skip of her heartbeat, she’s already gone.

She turns to Alex, tries not to blush under her sister knowing look.

“Did you ask her out yet?”

“Does it look like it?”

“What are you doing, Kara? Are you just going to wait until she starts thinking you’re all dorky by nature and not because you don’t know how to act around the girl you like? Are you going to become her best friend, so she thinks all you wanted was this? Friendship?”

“Alex, I know what I’m doing.”

To try and stop the argument she knows it’s going to go on for hours, she snatches one of the helmets from Alex’s hand and circles the bike.

“Well, you obviously don’t.” It’s not meant for her to ear, but she does. Alex doesn’t try pushing it.

**

“How’s Lena?” Lucy asks her during practice just before the winter break.

She picks up her pace, even though she knows it won’t help, Lucy runs faster than her anyways. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t try. It takes barely twenty seconds for Lucy to be by her side again, this time, with a disapproving look.

Honestly? Kara is just tired of this. Of everyone wanting to know if she created enough courage yet. They know she hasn’t, and all the questions just leave her angry. Or angrier. And frustrated. At herself and at the others. It’s unfair, she knows, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel it.

“Don’t even try, Kara. It’s getting ridiculous, you’re obviously into her. I guess, by now, she knows.”

Kara stops, turns to look at Lucy, her breathing faster than it should be after barely fifteen minutes running. It’s cold and her body complains the lack of movement the second she stops. But the anger is doing an amazing job at keeping her warm.

“Then if she knows, why hasn’t she said anything?” Kara shouts, Lucy takes a step back with her arms crossed, gives her a smirk. “God, Lucy, I’m sorry.”

“Louder.”

“What?”

“You’re tense, I can’t have you like that for tomorrow’s game. Louder.”

“I’m not going to scream at you in the middle of the field.”

“Yes, you are.” She comes closer to Kara, puts her arm around her shoulders, and pulls her towards the sideline. “I know Alex has been stressing you out because of, you know, but try to see her point. Our point. We’re leaving in six months, Kara, she doesn’t want to leave you in a situation you’ll need her when she’s not around. I don’t want to leave you like that. And, Lena? We like her.”

Kara brings her hand up to push her glasses, but ends up poking her closed eye instead. She tightens her ponytail, long sigh leaving her lips.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just, this is wearing me out, you know? I already think about her for too long without you guys mentioning her, and I’m happy being Lena’s friend. Of course I’d like more, but if it’s all I can get, it’s okay.”

“Why do you think friendship is all you can get from her? That girl looks at you like you’re her personal sun.” Kara blushes at that, gives her a small smile.

“I think she doesn’t like girls.”

Lucy laughs, pulls Kara closer to her.

“Oh, Kara, if Lena is straight then so am I.”

“But you are?”

“Just because I’m dating James doesn’t mean I’m straight, I really thought you knew.” They take a step away from each other, Lucy holds her hand though, not letting Kara slip. “This is a conversation for another time. Look, if you’re not ready, then you don’t have to. But, just keep in mind that, when you feel ready it could be too late. It’s never going to _feel_ like the right time. You just make the best out of what you have.”

“Okay.”

“Promise me you won’t stress eat tonight? I need you at your best for the game.” Kara snorts but nods nevertheless. “Good.” Lucy takes a step closer, adjusts the collar of her jersey, and leaves a kiss on her cheek. “Go, you have company.”

Before she even process the entire sentence, Lucy is back at the middle of the field. She stares at Lucy screaming at the girls until a loud clear of a throat from behind her catches her attention.

Lena looks adorable. In a grey oversized hoodie matching with her beanie and black ripped jeans. Kara just really wants to hug her. She comes closer, as Lena takes a step down, standing as close to the field as she could get without stepping inside.

“Do I have competition for your attention now, Kara?”

“Never.” Lena smiles, extends her hand towards Kara, who just wraps her fingers around the end of her sleeve. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you.” Kara’s heart beats faster, her cheeks turn red (she totally blames on the cold) and her breath hitches (she blames on the exercise she stopped doing long ago). “I don’t think I’ve ever said you look good in a uniform. Because you do. Aren’t you cold?”

“Now that I’m not running, yes.”

Her hands find Kara’s arms, rubbing them to keep them warm. It makes Kara laugh, loud, she just sends a shy smile in response.

“Lena? Is that supposed to help?”

“If you’re not appreciating it, I can stop and go. I could be in my very comfortable bed at this moment.”

“Nice to know you would trade me for so little.”

“You know that I would never.” Kara’s heart stops, the look in Lena’s face makes her believe that maybe, maybe Lucy was right (a little bit, but, hell, Kara wanted to believe). “But I actually do have to go. We’re picking up Lex at the airport. Don’t work too hard, Superstar.”

“Are you ever going to let that one go?”

“Never.” Lena leans down, lips brushing against her cheek. It’s soft, just like Kara had imagined it, but it doesn’t last nearly as much as she wants. “Bye, Kara.”

Lucy says nothing when she goes back.

**

Kara is, at least, honest enough to admit she’s jealous. Maybe she should just focus on the game (only the people inside the field can see how stressed Lucy is at the end of first half).

She doesn’t wait for the rest of the team, picking up her things and jogging to the locker room. She doesn’t look up, she’s not brave enough to do so, because she knows Lena is going to be on the first row, sitting with Alex, James and Eliza.

And that guy. (How could she forget about that guy?)

(Oh, right, she prefers to pretend he doesn’t exist and Lena is just laughing because she’s with her friends.)

Vasquez tells her she’s coming in for the second half, she doesn’t feel half as ready as she should be. Vasquez doesn’t see it, Lucy does. So she sits by her side, hand against Kara’s thigh, she jumps at the contact.

“Why are you sulking?”

“Lena was with this guy, sharp jawline, scar. She was laughing a lot.”

“Scar on his cheek?” Kara nods. “Yeah, that’s her brother. So put your head in the game and stop mopping over a pretty girl.”

“That’s Lex?”

“Yes.” Lucy snorts, fix her pre-wrap. “At the end of the game I’m really going to laugh about that. Now get ready, we have a game to win.”

Kara totally does not show off when she gets in.

**

“Kara!”

She barely has time to turn around before a body collides against her, arms wrapping around her neck and black hair all over her face. She lets out a breathless laugh, arms coming to rest around Lena’s waist. She buries her face on Lena’s neck, takes a deep breath, until she realizes it’s kind of creepy, so she leans back, their noses inches away.

Lena doesn’t seem to mind how sweaty she is, or the pretty much unpleasant smell she most likely has right now. She just pulls her closer again, nose bumping against Kara’s shoulder.

She looks up, only to see Eliza pretending she’s not looking, while Alex and Lex had the biggest grins she’s ever seen.

“I thought you wouldn’t be here.”

“I was not going to leave without talking to you.” She tightens her hold against Kara and she complies, sigh escaping her mouth as her hands find the curve of her waist. “I’m gonna miss you.”

_Me too._

“I really wish I could stay.”

_Don’t go. Just say it, Kara. Do it._

“Don’t have too much fun without me.” She feels Lena smile’s against her neck, she already wants to feel it again.

“Impossible.”

“Lena, we have to go.” Lex’s voice is deep, it doesn’t fit his persona, even less so with his easy smile. “Good game tonight, Kara.”

Lena steps away, one arm still with Kara’s.

“Thank you, Lex.”

“Hey, one week, right?”

“One week.” Kara confirms.

Kara watches as Lex puts his hand on Lena’s shoulder, when they start talking as walking, and she is still staring when Lena gives one last look over her shoulder.

She can totally survive a week, right?

Eliza stops next to her, wraps her jacket around her shoulders, fix her hair that slipped out from her ponytail. Alex comes around, then, Lucy and James joining them hand in hand.

“See, mom, told you she looks like a kicked puppy whenever Lena leaves.”

“Alex.” She whines, Eliza rubs her thumb against her back.

“Don’t worry, honey. I met Lena, she’s wonderful.”

“I know.”

“Mom, that doesn’t help.” Alex extends her hand to Kara, piece of paper between her fingers and a smirk on her lips. “I don’t know what you did, but it worked, she’s completely whipped by you. Congratulations, you got her number, just took you three months.”

Kara snorts, but takes it, her face burning from cold. Embarrassment even. She discovers she doesn’t mind.

“Guys, you won’t believe this.” Lucy says loud enough to catch their attention. “Guess who Kara was jealous of?” She groans.

Now she wants to disappear.

**

She takes less than an hour to text her.

**

Kara’s cell phone doesn’t leave her side for a week.

Lena is a double, and, eventually, triple, texter.

Eliza and Alex spend seven days sharing knowing looks.

**

Currently, Kara is listening to Winn’s ramble about Star Wars. She should’ve known, every time they watch it, she hears a new thirty minutes long argument about whatever. (She stopped listening to them after the second time. Winn doesn’t need to know about this.)

So, she readjusts herself on their Chemistry counter, popping her elbow against the top and head resting against her fist. She nods at him, which seems to encourage him (she actually has no idea what he’s talking about, but who could blame her? Lena is back, and her mind cannot concentrate on anything else).

It’s been a week (a whole week) and she misses Lena’s voice, her laugh, her smile (she’s really screwed, but that’s a whole other story). Then, yes, she’s not as focused as she usually is.

Winn stops, gives her a huge smile and just stares, before Kara can even ask what’s wrong, she feels a pair of hands on her waist, a sudden warmth against her back and lips brushing her ear.

“Miss me?” She really missed her voice.

Kara is up faster than she would like to admit, hands clutching at her shoulders and bringing her as close as she can. It’s not much, there’s still a stool between them, but Kara doesn’t mind. Lena doesn’t seem so bothered by it either, if the way she sighs and curls a little tighter on Kara.

As they pull apart, Lena brings her hands up, brushes the hair out of Kara’s face and gives her a small smile (Kara missed them, a lot).

“Hey, Winn.”

“Lena.”

Kara’s hands drop to her sides, she takes a deep breath in, trying to control her nerves for having Lena around again.

“How was Toronto?”

“Cold. Beautiful. A little boring without you.” She pokes Kara’s ribs with her finger, Kara laughs. “I really wanted all of you there.”

_Just friends, just friends, just friends._

But the way Lena looks at her makes Kara wonder.

“I was thinking, since it’s your birthday in two weeks, I should take you out.” Lena gives her a sheepish smile once she ends her phrase, Kara has a hard time swallowing the lump in her throat. She can only nod. “Great.”

“I’ll talk to the guys, see when we can meet.”

Lena’s smile wavers, she looks down.

“Kara, I was” she bites her lip, looks up, her green eyes clearer than ever. Kara forgets how to breath (it’s just another effect of Lena Luthor in her life) “I meant just the two of us.”

“Oh.” _Not a date, it’s not a date, it’s not a date_ , Kara tries to remind herself. “Uh, I don’t, I”

“You don’t have to answer now, of course, just think about it, and let me now until next Friday. It’s totally fine if you don’t want to, I get”

“Yes.” Kara breaths out, Lena stops with her hands in the air. “Yeah.”

“It’s a date.” Lena smiles, and, honestly, Kara could hear those words for a week straight without growing tired of them. Lena takes a step back when she hears the bell ringing, waves at her. “That’s my cue.”

Kara stands there looking at the door Lena just passed, heart threatening to beat out of her chest.

She stands there until the students come in, followed shortly by their professor, and Winn has to get up and pull her down to her seat by her sleeve. He doesn’t let go, though, hushing the words barely two inches away from her face.

“Did she just ask you out?” She lets out a short, low laugh.

“I guess.”

**

Alex is waiting for them at the end of first period, Lucy almost skipping her steps to get to them faster. She stops, points her finger at Winn.

“You, text, explain.”

“Very articulated, Lucy.”

“Shut up, Alex.” She sticks her tongue out, rolls her eyes. “Explain it.”

“You texted them?” Kara asks, Winn gets closer to Alex.

“Lena asked Kara out and she said yes.”

“Lena asked?” Alex raised an eyebrow, shrugs. “Well, I guess someone had to, but Winn, next time don’t text only ‘it happened’ and exclamation points.”

**

They never end up going on the date.

Kara freaks out hours before and, without even thinking, she texts Lena that she can’t do this. It’s tempting, really, to just let go of her fear, to try and pretend she’s not extremely invested in this before it even started. But she can’t.

Because she values her friendship with Lena above anything else. Because she’s not risking her friend for the possibility of something more. Because she knows, she does, she’s just going to leave things awkward between them, until, eventually, Lena slips away.

So, she doesn’t take the risk.

She regrets it the moment she’s left alone at home at two in the afternoon. She calls Alex instead.

**

Alex doesn’t say anything, she just walks in half an hour later, grabs Kara’s hand and takes them to her own bedroom.

For some reason, talking was always easier when they were alone, surrounded by nothing than Alex’s comfortable blankets and the single sunray that always succeeded to pass through the blinds.

They just lay there, Kara’s head on Alex’s lap, while her sister’s hand played with the hair that slipped from her braid. Alex waits, she doesn’t push, she learnt how to deal with her sister over the years.

But Kara says nothing, turning her body on the bed so she could hide her face on Alex’s stomach. She curls her fingers around her sister’s shirt, takes a shaky breath.

“Is it possible to fall in love so fast?” Alex bites her lip and nods.

“Yes.” She stills her fingers on Kara’s hair, her other hand find Kara’s, fingers interweaving. She gives them a gentle squeeze. “But, Kara, it wasn’t fast.”

“We’ve been friends for less than five months, Alex. How is that not fast?”

“Add twelve months of you pretty much already in love with her. When you two started talking it was just the ‘oh, shit’ moment, but it was already there.”

“The what now? Also, language!”

“Shit.” It makes Kara laugh and honestly it was all Alex wanted right now. Her sister tries to release their joined hands, but Alex just tugs at it harder. “But you know, the moment you realize you fell a scary lot for someone.”

“Have you ever felt that?”

“Yeah.”

“How did it end?” Kara turns her head around on Alex’s lap so she can stare at her eyes. Alex smiles down at her.

“She’s dating someone else.”

“And you feel a scary lot for her?”

“The scariest.”

**

She’s not avoiding Lena, per say (except that she totally is). It’s just that, she decides to stick rigidly to her schedule.

Lena seems happy to give her the space she needs. She still waves at Kara whenever they see each other.

Kara decides do focus on the playoffs, instead. They have the quarter finals to win.

**

February has never been an easy month for Kara.

Four years ago her parents had died. (On that weekend, Alex takes her to one of the trails just on the outside of the city and sits with her back against a tree. She lets Kara scream at the top of her lungs, she lets Kara cry as loud as she wants, she lets Kara isolate herself for as long as she feels right, until Kara came back, and she would be there with open arms to hold her. Kara adds this simple moment to the list of reasons why she’s going to miss her sister.)

Last year, on the second Tuesday of the month, Jeremiah died. Kara had barely turned fifteen, little longer than two years into the Danvers’ household, but she felt it. She felt it on the way Alex didn’t smile for weeks, she felt it on the way her sister changed, she felt it on the way Eliza lost that small glint in her eyes.

And, even if she was still adapting, Kara felt his loss too. (She felt too much too fast.) Not like Alex or Eliza, but she felt it.

(They don’t leave Alex’s bedroom that day, they cuddle on her bed, this time, Kara being the one to hold her sister as she breaks. She still remembers how the Holidays were particularly hard on Alex, the first ones with only her mother there.)

Now, she can add Lena slipping each minute further from Kara. And she doesn’t know what to do, but to, of course, stand there and watch as Lena smiles and laughs at other people.

But nothing prepares her for when she sits down on their usual table at lunch, and Lena is there, sitting at Lucy’s side. She doesn’t smile at Kara (at least, not in the way she used to), she doesn’t try to talk to her either. Or pretty much with anyone else at the table.

Kara wants to apologize, she wants to tell Lena she never meant things to be like that between that. But she doesn’t know how things got that way. After the whole freaking out, they reached an unspoken accord of giving each other space. Only that, the space became too big, and, now, words seem such a long road to go for them.

It makes Kara wonder how two people can go from friends (no, not friends, they were never really that, because, at least for Kara’s part, the thought of something more was always there), go from whatever they were to this.

The words feel out of place on her mouth.

“What’s wrong?” Lucy whispers to Lena, not low enough though, Kara hears it, focus on her sandwich instead.

“Veronica Sinclair asked me out.”

“What did you say?”

“That I was going to think about it.”

“Are you going to say yes?” Kara asks, both heads turning to her, Lucy with her mouth open and Lena with something Kara has never seen before, she doesn’t know if she likes it.

“I don’t know, Kara.” She arches her eyebrow. “Should I?”

Kara doesn’t answer.

She didn’t take the risk to have Lena as something more so she could keep Lena at all. Somehow, she has none.

February isn’t really her month.

**

Alex decides on Portland as her first choice for college.

All Kara hears is _too far from home._

**

Kara thinks the universe concentrates all of the bad things at a same time of the year for her. So, if she’s to be sad, she has a month for it.

And she sees the look of desperation turning into disappointment in Lucy’s face and then acceptance. It doesn’t mean the tears don’t come. Lucy actually lies down at the middle of the field after the final whistle and Kara doesn’t have much to do instead of following.

Her knees tremble as she sits down next to one of the posts of the goal, she rests her back against it, throws her head up. Catching her breath feels almost impossible, she’s truly exhausted for the first time, a small part of her is happy it’s over. A bigger part is sad. Mostly at herself. She just feels she could’ve done better.

She stays there for what feels like hours, she doesn’t cry until she sees Alex standing in front of her. And she can’t help it, she puts her head between her knees and lets it out.

Alex kneels next to her, wraps her arms around her sister. She doesn’t try to make Kara stop, she just holds Kara until she’s better.

“You did great, Kara. It’s okay.” Kara shakes her head, it’s not. “You have next year. And another one after that.”

“But Lucy.” She chokes out, Alex kisses her temple.

“Lucy won it last year, remember? She made you want to do this and you were amazing.”

“You are not going to be her next year.”

“Tell you what, you get to the final, I come from wherever I am. You are more important than anything else, Kara. Deal?”

Kara nods, exhales. Alex gets up, then, hand stuck out for Kara to take. She doesn’t.

“Can you give me five more minutes?”

“Of course. I’ll tell mom.”

She closes her eyes, rests her head on the post, and lets the chilly breeze hit her face as she comes down from the high. She’s calmer than she was (not even close to her usual), it doesn’t mean she doesn’t curse for the first time (even if it’s only on her mind).

Her muscles burn from the effort, and it’s starting to make her shake. Maybe it’s also because it’s a little cold and she shouldn’t be sitting in the grass at the afternoon, in shorts.

She pushes down her socks, takes out the shin guards and runs her thumb against her calves (it’s going to hurt so bad tomorrow).

“Good game tonight, Kara.” She looks up. Lena stands there, with a black jacket wrapped around her shoulders, hands buried inside the pockets. Kara snorts, not loud enough for her to ear.

“Not good enough, I guess.”

Lena takes a tentative step forward, then another, and, before Kara can protest, she’s sitting down by her side, facing the bleachers. Kara looks at her profile ( _God, that jawline, would it be too creepy if I just touched it?_ ), blinks harshly, trying to spare any more tears to fall.

They don’t talk, and Kara doesn’t know how long it passes when she just stares at Lena (she has already lost count how many times she did that). But it’s not her fault Lena looks so beautiful with the thin light of sunset glowing against her skin.

“I didn’t know you would come.”

“I never missed one of your games, Kara. It doesn’t matter that you’re not talking to me.”

“You’re the one who stopped talking to me.” Lena turns at her, and if she thought Lena was beautiful then, she’s much more now, her green eyes so clear turning into blush, her cheeks flushed from the cold, layer of clear red lipstick on her lips ( _so pretty_ ). Lena scoffs, shakes her head. “What?”

“I asked you out, Kara, you said yes and then changed your mind the minute I was leaving the house. You have all the right to do so, but you never gave me an explanation. ‘I can’t do this’ is not good enough.”

“But it was all I had to offer.”

“If I knew something so small like this would destroy our friendship I would never have asked.”

Kara bites her lip, this was the whole point after all. Not destroying them. Look at where it brought them.

“Then, why did it feel like I was losing you, Lena? After the… everything?”

“Because I can’t be your friend.” It’s low, it hurts more than Kara would like to admit. She feels the tears coming back. “Not when all I could think was the possibility of something more. I needed space in order to go back to where we were.”

“And now you have Veronica Sinclair.”

“Except that I said no.” She laughs a humorless laugh, takes her hand out of her pocket to lay it by her side. “I keep hoping that I was wrong before, and you’d want more eventually. I’m an idiot.”

Kara puts her hand next to Lena’s, their fingers brushing, when Lena doesn’t pull away, she moves it closer, until it rests on top of hers, fingers interlocking.

“I was afraid.” She whispers to Lena, their eyes meet again. “I was afraid of being too invested too soon. I was afraid I was going to scare you off. I was afraid of being the only one feeling too much.”

“That’s why you”

“I was afraid I was going to lose you. I still am. I’m sorry I let it control me.”

“Kara.” Lena scoots closer, bringing their joined hand on top of her lap, using the other to brush Kara’s hair away from her face. “I can assure you, you’re not the only one who is scared.”

“Really? Because I’m usually a mess around you and you’re just…”

Lena cups both of her cheeks, thumbs brushing just under her eyes (at where she knows it’s red a s bit swollen because of the tears) and she looks down at Kara’s lips before leaning in. Her own hand finds the back of Lena’s neck ( _her hair is so soft_ ) and tugs her down.

If Kara thought Lena’s lips were soft against her cheek all those weeks ago, the softness of them against her own is a whole other level. It doesn’t last long, but it’s enough to make Kara’s heart skip a beat. It’s enough to leave her addicted. (She wants to curse herself because the first thought on her mind when Lena leaned back was to follow her, to kiss her again.)

“Go out with me.” Kara whispers against a smile craved on perfect lips. “I promise I won’t run away.”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

She looks at Lena and there’s only one thought in her head, and it’s on Alex’s voice. _The scariest_.

Sometimes the universe just makes it up.


	2. Junior Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, it's been a while
> 
> First of all I would like to say I'm really sorry for taking so long (writer's block added with no time at all made it happen), but I try to compensate with a longer chapter
> 
> Second of all, thank you all for the patience (again, really sorry) and hopefully it won't take as much time for the third and final chapter
> 
> Third of all, hope you all enjoy it and if you excuse me I'm gonna freak out over Game of Thrones season 7 on tumblr

They’ve been doing this (whatever this is) since their first and only kiss (Lena acts as if it didn’t happen, Kara doesn’t know how to bring it up, so they stay within their comfort zone). By this, she means the dates (she’s no longer sure she could call them dates) and the long shared looks (Kara can be very oblivious sometimes, but even she knows friends don’t look at each other for that long).

Kara is confused, to say at least, because Lena would hold her hand and nuzzle her nose up against Kara’s neck whenever they were alone, but, as soon as someone appeared, Lena would let go of her hand, take a step away and begin with the looks.

She thought Lena just wanted to keep their relationship for themselves, but then the weeks passed and the weeks turned into months, and all Kara has is the phantom memory of a soft press of their lips.

She started thinking this is what dating Lena would be like.

Now, she wonders if she has done something wrong.

**

They had gone on their date (quickly followed by another, and another, and another, until Lena said they should reduce them since the final terms were coming up. Kara had no argument good enough) and it was far from perfect. But it was theirs.

Lucy and James had gone with them, well, not with them, they just happen to have a date the same day and offered to drive them to avoid the awkward ride with Eliza at the end of the night.

Not that Kara had been bothered, not by Eliza, not by Lucy. But Kara had to admit she was embarrassed. Extremely so. Maybe (definitely) because of Lucy. And because of how she would say the word "date" every thirty seconds.

It never failed to bring color to Kara's cheeks as she ducked down her head, but it only made Lena's smile get bigger. (She would condone the teasing during the whole night if it meant Lena kept smiling like that.)

But it wasn’t necessary. The teasing didn’t last, because as soon as James stopped the car, Lucy had shooed them away, saying they should call her when it ended, and that she would be extremely disappointed if the call came before midnight (Kara chose to ignore that part).

And like that, they were alone one more time. With the thought of _date_ screaming at the back of her mind, she really wanted to punch Lucy. It was hardly the first time she was alone with Lena, it was hardly the first time they went out together, but it was different this time. It was official.

The thought only made Kara’s heart beat faster. She understood they were standing at the side walk for what it felt like hours now, and Lena had stepped closer to her, the back of her hand slightly touching Kara’s as her breath collided against Kara’s cheek.

Lena cleared her throat, took another step closer and let hand envelop the blonde’s. Kara looked at her, green eyes shining with the sunset light and cheeks getting redder by the second, and Kara had never been surer. She let their fingers interweave, pulled Lena impossibly closer with a light squeeze against her hand.

“So,” Lena started, the widest grin taking over her expression “what are your intentions with me tonight, Kara Danvers?”

She leant in, pressing their foreheads together, brought her lips to the tip of Lena’s nose. It felt natural, it felt theirs. The ache on Kara’s chest eased.

“Are you afraid of heights?”

“I” Lena stopped, took a step back to look at Kara’s eyes, bit down hard on her lower lip (Kara had stared, for too long to be honest, and she had wished she was the one doing it. She never had the chance before, she just really, really wanted to know what it felt like) “yes, actually. I am.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“Good.”

Kara definitely did not make fun of Lena when she didn’t pass the three feet mark on the climbing-wall. Lena absolutely did not pout until Kara kissed her frown away, and she most likely was not disgusted when Kara dipped her fries on milkshake before eating – except that she totally was.

At ten thirty that night, they were alone on Lena’s porch, the sound of James car on the background the only reminder they weren’t alone and probably being watched by Kara’s friends.

She had wanted to kiss Lena so badly that moment, when she was wearing her lazy smile, hair down and wild around her face. She looked carefree. She looked beautiful, and Kara always had a soft spot for beautiful things. If Lena was the definition of it, she couldn’t help herself when she leant in and down.

But Lena was faster, gripping at Kara’s forearm as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss Kara’s cheek. It lasted forever, it would’ve been perfect if not by the buzzing on her lips where she wanted Lena the most. She heard the soft sigh that escaped Lena’s lips when she turned around with a whisper of “Goodnight, Kara”.

(Looking back at it, Kara wonders if she has done something wrong.

She has harder and harder times thinking it’s not her fault.)

**

Kara is barely awake on a Wednesday afternoon when she gets up from the couch to open the door after a light knock against it. She’s way too preoccupied with rubbing her eyes to actually take a look at the peephole, and she ends up swinging the door open with a little more force than necessary.

Surprise is not really the word she would use upon seeing Lucy leaning against the threshold, tight jeans and a leather jacket she is sure is Alex’s wrapped around her. She’s not surprised Lucy is here. She’s surprised Lucy is here when Alex is not.

But she doesn’t mention it, leaving the door open for Lucy to lock it behind her as she drops herself face first on the couch, bringing the duvets tighter around her body. She sighs happily at the warmth, closes her eyes and adjusts her head into a more comfortable position for her at least three hour long nap.

Lucy doesn’t seem to think the same way she does. Strong hands grasp at her ankles, raises her legs to a point where Lucy can squirm herself by Kara’s side on the couch and drop them back on the floor.

“Rude.” Kara mumbles, sitting up. She brings her duvet around herself and leans her head on the backrest, eyes already closing and sleep threatening to take over her, when she feels a slap against her shoulder. “Rude.”

“Be a better host.”

“You’re basically family, I don’t need to be a host anymore.” But she opens her eyes nevertheless, gives her a tired smile. “Alex is not here.”

“I know, she texted me saying she would take another twenty minutes or so. I wanted to talk to you, actually.” Kara nods, as the words sink in. She’s not nearly as awake as she should be to understand exactly what Lucy is saying. “I wanted to talk to you about something I said a few months ago.” Kara hums. “During soccer practice.” Another hum. “Kara, this is important.”

“I’m listening to you.” She exhales, bites hard on the inside of her cheek. “It’s about that day when Lena came over to talk to me, right?”

She doesn’t get an answer, not right away at least. Instead, Lucy turns her head down, her lower lip quivering and Kara is sure she has never seen her like that. Shattered. Afraid. It doesn’t suit her.

So she gets closer, puts her hand on Lucy’s thigh, waits for her to lock their eyes once more, she pleads for it. To let Lucy know there’s nothing she could say that would make Kara love her less. And so she waits.

Eventually, Lucy does look up, she stops with her mouth open.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.”

“Alex was the first person I kissed.” Lucy says as soon as Kara stops, her fingers coming to wrap around the hem of her shirt. “We’ve been best friends since forever, I think, and one day it just kinda happened. It was four months before James and I started dating.”

“You were sixteen?”

“We were.”

Kara tries to remember that time, she tries to remember if Alex had changed the way she acted, she tries to remember if Alex had let it show. But she was still adapting, she was still trying to push away her parents’ deaths.

She only remembers Alex putting up a smile and holding her every night she broke down. Alex had just turned nineteen now, and Kara thinks she should feel betrayed for not knowing. But she feels sad instead. Because her sister had to push aside her feelings for her. Again.

With a small nod, Kara clenches her jaw, takes another look at Lucy.

“Alex was the first person I actually liked.”

It breaks Kara, the look on Lucy’s face. She understands now.

“That’s why you wanted”

“You and Lena together, yeah.” She receives a small smile, when blood runs up her cheeks. “I saw us in you and I just wanted it to work, I guess. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Kara takes a shaky breath in, reciprocates the tight grin when she hears Lucy doing the same. “What, you really don’t have to answer this, but, what happened?”

“My whole family is from the army, Kara. I know that’s not an excuse, but they grew up in a very conservative environment, and my father found out about Alex’s sexuality. You could say he wasn’t really pleased.”

“That’s why you started hanging out here.”

“He doesn’t want Alex there.” Kara clenches her fists, her jaw so tight it almost hurts. She feels Lucy’s hand on her own, her thumb rubbing soft circles around her wrist. “So it was a mutual understanding that it couldn’t happen. And probably it would never happen anyway, it was pretty much platonic from my side. If her friend was all I could be, then I’m happy with it.”

“What about James?”

“I do love him, really.”

“Like you love my sister?”

“Wow, Kara, we went from like to love pretty fast, uh?” She tries to joke, but when all she receives is a pair of blue eyes bored into hers she stops, looks down. “I honestly don’t know.”

The door chooses that moment to be opened, Kara doesn’t move as she feels Lucy slipping away, releasing her wrist, getting up.

She sees the way Lucy’s smile changes and she wonders how she never noticed before, she wonders if it was that obvious before, she wonders if Alex feels the same. (She is going to be really mad if Alex does and hasn’t told her.)

But as she watches the two teasing each other, Lucy falling on the loveseat as Alex poked her sides, she feels herself hurting. For Lucy. For her sister. She feels bad for not being there for Alex after all those times Alex was there for her.

When they’re gone, Kara can’t bring herself to the nap she desperately wanted, she just sits there staring at the door. The only thought running through her mind is Alex’s voice, _the scariest._ It makes her think.

She texts Lena instead.

**

“You know, next time you send me a photo of you running, do it before, not after the running part.”

Kara raises an eyebrow at the girl sitting across from her, Lena just rests her elbow against the table as her chin finds her fist. She looks marvelous today (but when does she not?), with her long, dark black hair down and the faintest shade of red lipstick on her lips.

Her very kissable lips, the same ones Kara’s been having a lot of trouble to touch again.

“You didn’t enjoy my running outfit?”

“Oh, I enjoyed it very much. But, I admit, I would appreciate it even more if you weren’t all sweaty.”

Lena’s teeth sink against her bottom lip and Kara thinks she’s doing it on purpose. There’s no way Lena would do the same thing at least five times whenever they were together, no matter for how long.

And she smirks, honest to God smirks, when she catches Kara’s line of sight. But other than that, she doesn’t move.

“If I remember correctly, you kissed me after one of my games.”

“I’m sure it didn’t happen.”

“Maybe I should remind you.”

“Maybe you should.”

That’s more than she was expecting, really, from the recent development of things between them, she was already bracing herself for a whole year without Lena’s lips on hers.

But the challenge is clear in her voice, so Kara wastes no time. She gets up from her booth, slides in on the room Lena gave her on her own. Her fingers easily find Lena’s waist, holding her close, as she dips down.

She doesn’t kiss Lena, not yet, she gives her the chance to back away and, when she doesn’t, Kara cups her cheek with her free hand. She waits, until Lena nods, to close the small gap between them, and finally ( _finally_ ) kiss Lena again.

It’s better than Kara remembers. The feeling of Lena’s lips, so, so soft, against her own. The feeling of Lena’s hands clutching at the back of her neck and urging her forward. She’s not even close to prepared to feel the brush of Lena’s tongue on her lips, she gasps and it’s all it takes for Lena to press _closer_.

Kara would be really ashamed for the noise she let out. But that’s a thought for later, especially so when Lena’s tongue is doing something that makes Kara’s knees go week. She has never been more grateful for being sat.

Their kiss breaks when she bites on Lena’s bottom lip ( _thank you, thank you, thank you, I can die happy now_ ) and, honestly, it was better than she could’ve imagined it. Mostly because of the whimper Lena let out, followed by a moan and it was enough to bring Kara back to the reality in which their kiss was not really appropriate for a public place.

But as she leans back, she sees the smudged lipstick on Lena’s lips and the only definition for what blossoms in her chest is pride.

“That was my birthday gift?”

“No.” Kara answers, bringing a couple of napkins to Lena’s lips as her girlfriend (maybe? Hopefully?) did the same. “You get as many kisses as you want and a gift.” Kara readjusts her glasses, tries to regain some composure.

“Kisses and a present? I think I have the perfect girlfriend.” Lena leans in again, their lips just brushing together, while their smiles grow bigger. “You know you didn’t have to get me anything, right?”

“I wanted to.”

Lena holds her hand for the rest of the day, their fingers interweaved tightly around each other, and she even gets another breathtaking kiss at the end of the day barely teen feet away from the front door of her house. (Alex has to open the door and scream at them to snap Kara out of it, but her sister only rolls her eyes at the two.)

At the end of the day, Lena is wearing a simple silver wristband that prompted a “Kara, you shouldn’t have” that took Kara’s last saving from her last year’s summer job. It was totally worth it.

Kara keeps the thought of Lena saying the word “girlfriend” on the back of her mind for the whole night.

(If Alex has to pound on the wall they share and tell her to stop giggling, it’s definitely not because of that.)

**

Kara sits at the end of Alex’s bed as she watches her sister put her things inside her bags.

Really, she thought she would be prepared for the sight, but all it does is set a foreign feeling at the bottom of her stomach. A pain she couldn’t quite ease. But she does as she’s been doing for the past month, she clenches her jaw and blinks away the tears.

(The feeling of unfairness doesn’t disappear, she’s losing Lucy and Alex in one go, after all. There’s not much she can do about it.)

But she does as she was used. She smiles when Alex huffs out in annoyance and clears her throat to catch her sister’s attention.

“Can I keep a leather jacket?”

“No, Kara.”

“Your boots?”

“No.”

“The gloves and belt?”

“Not a chance.”

“Can I move into your bedroom?”

Alex drops the shirt she’s been folding in nothing but a ball and sighs. But when she looks at Kara there’s nothing but love there.

“You do understand I’m moving out, not dying, right?”

“Obviously.”

“Then you know the answer.”

“But Alex.” She whines, drops herself fully on the bed, the back of her right hand brushing against the bottom of the suitcase.

“Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend?”

It’s all it takes to make her frown disappear and to be replaced by a huge grin. Lena is actually her girlfriend now, she can call her that, and, most importantly, they’ve been acting like it. (Kara never got an explanation, she’s no longer sure she wants one now.)

“She told me to enjoy my last week with you.”

“Where is she?”

“Spain until the end of summer.” Alex snorted.

“Lucy and I are leaving, James is in an internship and Lena is in fucking Spain, summer is being bliss for you, uh?”

Kara pops up on her elbows, raising her upper body to stare at her sister.

”Winn is still around.”

“As I said: bliss. It’s not ironic at all.”

Alex smiles at her, motions for her to sit up properly, which she rapidly obliges. Soon enough, Alex is standing between her legs, arms wrapping around Kara and hands easily finding blond locks.

She sighs happily into her sister, nose pressing against Alex’s ribs as she feels the tears coming back. She doesn’t cry, though, sinking a little harder when the urge gets too strong.

“Can I keep your bike?”

“Shut up.”

**

Alex leaves on a Tuesday and, by extent, so does Lucy.

And Kara doesn’t know how it happens, but, next thing she knows, they’re already at the airport and she’s walking with Winn by her side and her sister, Lucy and James in front of her.

She thought she was prepared for this (she really thought), but, the minute she woke up this morning, there was the reminder that the bedroom next to hers would be empty and all she could feel was a tight pressure on her chest.

When she left her own room, she was met with nothing but the reminder this was real, with Alex’s luggage on the hall. (She thought she would feel better, she thought seeing her sister happy would make it hurt less. It doesn’t.)

The sudden stop of three people in front of Kara makes her stop dead in her tracks, she looks up to see Alex turning around to her. She doesn’t have to say anything else, Kara knows.

“Mom, I have to talk to Kara in private. Can you take care of these?”

“Of course.”

She doesn’t fight when Alex wraps her hand around her wrist, dragging her away from the group. She makes Kara sit down by her side and waits (for what Kara isn’t entirely sure, but she waits).

For a moment, Kara thinks Alex is not going to say anything, because if there’s something her sister is as bad as her it’s goodbyes. But Alex was never one to what was predicted.

Instead of talking, she lunges forward, arms gripping at Kara’s shirt and it takes all of Kara’s self-control not to break down. But they don’t let go. If anything, they hold each other tighter.

“If you” Alex starts, lets out a shaky laugh “If you break Lena’s heart I’m coming back and kicking your ass.”

“You’re giving _me_ a shovel talk?”

“Lucy and I played the odds. I’m betting Lena’s shovel talk was worst.”

Kara laughs against Alex’s ear, leans back a bit and tries (key word: tries) not to cry when she see the unwashed tears on Alex’s eyes.

“We’re going to talk, okay? Everyday.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah.” Alex kisses her frown, leans their foreheads together. “Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t hesitate to call or text, me or Lucy, it doesn’t matter. You can’t have my room, nor my bike. Take care of Lena. Take care of mom.” Kara nods, Alex continues. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Good.” Alex sits up straighter, takes the tears away with the pads of her thumbs, and tries to give Kara her best smile. (It doesn’t work, she doesn’t mention.) “And, Kara?” She looks at her eyes, her tired, small smile, and somehow she understands. “It doesn’t have to be scary.”

**

“I’m so bored!”

“So you’ve said five minutes ago.”

“But I’m still bored.”

“Thank you for enjoying my company so much.”

“It’s so not like that!”

Winn drops his screwdriver and adjusts the protection over his eyes when he turns his head to look at Kara.

“Is it not?” He tries to raise one of his eyebrows in a way that it’s just so Lena she can’t help but laugh. “Don’t laugh at me.”

“It’s just… I’m not used at staying put.”

“Then, I’m not your guy.”

Kara sighs, lets her back hit the mattress.

“What are you doing, anyway?”

“Changing the graphic and audio cards of my computer. Replacing the RAM memory and the cooler for a more efficient system, still thinking about changing the processor. I’m not sure on that one yet.”

“You are such a nerd.”

“Consider yourself uninvited for any future mind-blowing Netflix marathon in my house.”

“Winn!”

**

Eliza takes her to the labs for the first time on her last weekend of vacation.

The only thing that goes through her mind is that Lena would’ve loved them. (Yes, she’s that whipped, but she reasons there’s no one who could blame her for being whipped for Lena Luthor.)

But it helps, it’s distracting to say at least, and Kara is not about to refuse any kind of activity at the moment (there is a certain amount of things she can watch Winn rebuild before she gets too bored). And she appreciates Eliza for trying (more than she can express now that Alex is no longer around).

And, yeah, maybe she gets a little confused at times, or too distracted and ends up stumbling against a desk or a counter once (four times, but okay), but Eliza smiles at her and asks if she wants to continue.

Not having Alex at any time of the day will suck, but she thinks she can manage.

**

[7:17am] _Kara, can you please text Lucy and tell her to never wake me up at such an ungodly hour again_

[7:17am] _Specially on a Sunday_

[7:19am] We’re on a group chat, Alex, I can read your text

[7:20am] _Karaaaaaaa, come defend your sister’s honor_

Don’t put me in the middle of this [7:25am]

[7:28am] Why are you up so early?

[7:29am] _Lena is coming back today_

[7:29am] _When is she landing?_

I’m getting ready to go to her house, actually [7:33am]

[7:35am] The thirst is real

LUCY [7:36am]

**

The first time it starts to happen again (even thinking about it makes Kara confused), is on their second day back at school.

Kara thinks, the thought just crosses her mind and lands on the far back, but once she gave it a bit of thinking it actually made sense, she thinks that maybe if they shared a class the precious day it would’ve happened already.

But it’s so small, it’s so insignificant, she is sure she’s just reading too much into it. (But she’s not, really, because she remembers how Lena flinched away that morning when she leant in to kiss her cheek.)

(She’s definitely freaking out.

Maybe, she thinks, she has a reason to be.)

And, really, it’s on the small things, but they are there. And once Kara noticed, she couldn’t stop.

(She notices the way Lena doesn’t hold her hand when they’re walking down the hall.

Or on how Lena always double-checks whenever she leans in for a quick kiss.

Or on how she always stands a good foot away whenever there is someone else near them, instead of having her arm pressed against Kara’s.

It makes Kara wonder, again.)

There comes a time in which Kara needs to know.

**

“James?” Kara opens the door to the journalism club, only to find it poorly illuminated and pretty much empty if not by the tall figure of James leaning against a desk, eyes fixed on the phone in his hands.

He doesn’t look up, not when she closes the door, not when she takes a couple of steps closer to him, not when she calls him again, this time barely two feet away from him.

Usually, Kara wouldn’t be worried (she really wouldn’t, it’s not the first time James got lost in his own thoughts and she’s sure it won’t be the last), but it’s not just on that; it’s in the way his eyes are glued to the screen of his phone; it’s in the way his shoulders are slumped down, as if he would just prefer to disappear than to continue whatever he’s doing; it’s in the way he sighs when his phone finally dings, closes his eyes and locks it, shoving it inside his pocket.

So she worries. Because James is never like that. (Subdued? Defeated? Tired?) And she doesn’t know what to do.

He eventually looks up, opens his arms in a clear invitation and Kara doesn’t think twice before stepping forward. James rests his chin on top of Kara’s head, fingers brushing ever so light against Kara’s ribs, the same way he knows Kara hates (she lets it pass this time).

“Lucy fucked up.”

“What?”

“It hasn’t been two months, Kara, and she already fucked up.”

“James” Kara thinks back at Lucy’s text, a simple ‘make sure he’s okay’, so she takes a step back, keeps him at arm’s length “I don’t”

“Two months, Kara, and she has someone else.” James lets out a dry laugh, fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I mean, I know things weren’t the best between us, I just didn’t think she would be reckless with her feelings.”

“I thought you guys were okay.”

“We haven’t been ‘okay’ for a long time now. Since January I think, maybe longer than that. I really don’t know and I think this shows you how not okay we are. We weren’t talking, we argued a lot actually, and, perhaps, we knew it wasn’t going to last, not with her away at least. It still hurts.”

“Do you want me to call Eliza, tell her you’re staying over? I can offer comfort food and bad movies.”

“Thank you, Kara, but I think I prefer being alone now. If that’s okay with you.”

“Sure.”

She only sees him two days later.

He no longer wears the ring he was so fond of. Kara doesn’t remember ever seeing him without it.

**

Lucy? [7:16pm]

James is fine, he went home (I think, I hope) [7:16pm]

Lucy? Is it Alex? [7:52pm]

She never gets an answer.

**

Kara would never be able to look at Eliza again. By that, she means never again.

Honestly? Silence has never sounded louder than this and she is sure her mother could hear her heart racing.

Her fingers grip harder at Lena’s thighs, she hears the girl gasping above her, but other than that, they don’t move. Neither of the three. And Eliza is still standing barely four feet away from them, hands clutching at the grocery bags, mouth hanging open.

Lena squirms on top of her, tries to find a more comfortable position (Kara doubts that’s even possible), and it’s enough to make Kara snap her eyes back to her girlfriend. Her very flustered girlfriend. Her face gets redder by the second and Kara is sure hers match.

But she recovers faster, because of course she does. Lena retrieves her hands from under Kara’s shirt, from the very high spot they were resting on Kara’s abs and she instantly misses the contact. She forces the whine down her throat, she is sure Eliza wouldn’t appreciate it.

Unfortunately, her brain is not as fast as Lena’s, because, as much as she knows she should move, she doesn’t. And, consequently, Lena can’t either. So they just stay on the same position, with Lena straddling her thighs and hands now on her shoulders to steady herself.

Eliza clears her throat, looks away, lets out a sigh before her eyes finally settle on Lena’s wide ones.

“It’s nice to see you, Lena.”

“Miss Danvers.”

“Oh, Lena, please, you’re on top of my daughter, I think we’re way past pleasantries.” Kara doubted the redness on Lena’s face and chest could get any darker, but, oh boy, she was wrong. “Kara, sweetie, I thought you had practice today.”

“It ended earlier.” She manages to choke out, Eliza nods thoughtfully. “I thought you were working late.”

“That’s tomorrow.” Eliza turns around to go to the kitchen, bags being dropped at the counter. Lena takes the moment to look down at Kara, her mouth open and a look of desperation on her eyes. “Lena, are you staying for dinner?”

“I, uh, I don’t suppose” she takes a deep breath in, closes her eyes “I don’t think my mother would be okay with that. Maybe I should go.”

Eliza’s head appear at the top of the counter, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips.

“Do you need a ride?”

“I think I can manage.”

“Okay.”

Eventually, they get up from the couch, Kara passing in front of the kitchen and her mother’s knowing gaze with her head down, but hand firmly clamped around Lena’s.

She closes the front door behind them, eyes glued to the floor even as Lena gets closer to her. A pair of strong hands cup her cheeks, gently brings her down until soft lips meet her own, with a low sigh, she lets her hand wrap around a thin waist.

Lena leaves one last peck against her lips before settling their foreheads together.

“I didn’t get you into trouble, right?”

“No.” Kara laughs, runs the tip of her nose against Lena’s cheek. “Eliza is not really mad. Get home safe, okay?”

“I’ll text you.”

Kara nods, leaves one last lingering kiss to Lena’s lips before releasing her. And she watches, leaning against the threshold, uses the time to clean her glasses and slide them back into their right place, as Lena steps down the porch and starts the long walk to her place, sun just starting to set above her.

Once inside the house, she locks the door and tries to go upstairs with as little noise as she can. Eliza doesn’t seem to think that way.

She moves to the stool Eliza has been pointing at, tries to sit as comfortably as she can (not that it helps much, she ends up at its tip, begging for this to end so she can run upstairs and never come back down).

But the look Eliza is giving her doesn’t make her want to flight. It doesn’t make her heart stop pounding against her ribcage or the blood stop running up to her cheeks. She is sure she cannot escape this conversation, and, as less awkward as Eliza might want this to go, Kara knows it won’t be. She’s never leaving her room again.

“So, about what just happened.” Kara grunts, lets her head fall at counter. Eliza stops putting the food in the fridge, turns around to sit across from her daughter, she, then, wraps a hand around Kara’s wrist prompting Kara to crack one eye open. “I’m not going to argue with you. I’m not giving you a speech either.”

Kara moves around, settles her chin on top of her crossed forearms, eyes bored into blue ones.

“You and Lena have been together for seven months now?”

“Six. And three weeks.”

“Right.” She chuckles as she shakes her head. “Honey, you’re both teenagers”

“Oh, God, I know where this is going.”

“…it’s your first relationship, and, for what I’m gathering, it’s pretty serious.”

“Did you have this talk with Alex too?”

“Yes, I did. Now let me finish it.” Kara grunts again, but, otherwise, doesn’t protest further. “And after some… time together, you would want to take this to the next step.”

“Eliza, we were just kissing!”

“Believe me, I saw that.” Eliza sighs, takes a deep breath in. Sometimes she just really missed Alex to do some things for her. “Kara, I’m not going to forbid you from having sex with your girlfriend. It’s just that, when you decide to do it, if you haven’t already, I would feel better knowing I talked about this with you.”

“Lena and I haven’t”

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me. I would love for you to be comfortable enough, when the time comes, to be able to talk to me about it.”

Kara exhales, she’s not sure if death by embarrassment is actually possible and she doesn’t want to find it out today. But, again, this is not something she can run from. So she sucks in a long breath, makes sure her lips are not quivering as she looks up.

“We haven’t slept together. Nor have talked about it.”

“Communication is important, Kara.”

“I don’t think we’re there yet.”

“It’s okay. Just make sure that, when you reach there, you’re going to be safe. I don’t want grandchildren for maybe ten other years.”

The grunt that leaves her mouth is loud enough to be heard over Eliza’s laugh, but she just pats the back of her hand. Kara hears her getting up and moving.

“Am I free to go?” She mumbles against her arms, hopes it’s understandable enough so she won’t have to look up any time soon.

“Yes, you are.” She leaps out as fast as she can. Somehow, it’s not fast enough. “Use condoms!”

**

[9:47pm] _So, Eliza told me something interesting today_

[9:48pm] _Something about two teenagers and a couch_

[9:48pm] _Totally gross (I’m proud of you)_

[9:48pm] _Though, I expected something classier_

[9:49pm] _From Lena, not you_

OMG [9:52pm]

I FEEL SO EMBARRASSED [9:52pm]

WHY WOULD SHE DO THAT? [9:55pm]

LKJASDVLK [9:55pm]

[10:04pm] _Calm the fuck down, told you I was proud (don’t let Eliza read this)_

[10:04pm] B _tw_

[10:05pm] _Did she give you the talk?_

………yes [10:06pm]

[10:06pm] _Was it awkward?_

Yes [10:07pm]

[10:08pm] _Good_

[10:08pm] _That’s what you get for making out with your hot girlfriend on the couch (nice ;), do it again if you ever get the chance)_

I am honestly confused [10:10pm]

**

[11:58pm] _Sorry about that_

[11:58pm] _Lucy got my phone_

[12:01am] _And for clearance, DO NOT make out with Lena on the couch_

[12:02am] _Whether there’s someone on the house or not (which gross, for fuck’s sake, Kara, we sit on that thing)_

**

They end up talking about it (not about having sex –though, they should probably also talk about it), but the whole wariness around each other when there are more people around.

And, yes, it’s strange at the beginning, with Kara not knowing how to bring it up (again) and ending up just blurting it out, proceeding to Lena staring at her with her mouth agape.

So maybe it’s a bit awkward for a moment (maybe she shouldn’t have done this in the middle of her practice, when all the other girls from the team were running pretty much just fifteen yards away from them, after she asked for five minutes to Vasquez and sprinted towards the bleachers), but, as expected, it gets even more.

Lena, for starters, just stares at her with wide green eyes, then proceeds to look away and starts to fumble with a lock of her hair.

“And Alex says you’re oblivious.”

“Well, you had to kiss me so I understood you liked me, and I might have, or might have not, pinned over you for longer than necessary. But other than that, I’m really observant.”

It makes Lena laugh, so the weight on Kara’s chest eases, she releases the breath she didn’t know she was holding. They just have to talk, they can’t get to a point where they stop.

She doesn’t resist when Lena’s fingers wrap around her wrist, tugging at it until it’s resting at her lap. And, certainly, she doesn’t complain when Lena turns her palm around, letting their fingers interweave, Kara’s thumb coming to brush against the wristband.

“I’m not ashamed, Kara, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Lena looks at her, gives her a minimum smile. “I guess after all the fuss during freshman year, everyone already knows that I’m a lesbian.”

“That never crossed my mind. I just… Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No! Of course you didn’t.”

They shift closer to each other, Kara turning her body slightly to her left so she can face Lena, their thighs pressed and Kara’s free hand finds Lena’s knee, gives it a gentle squeeze.

“Do you realize things will be different once everyone knows? You’re popular, Kara, people will ask, and they can put you in a spot you don’t want to be, one you didn’t ask to be. Once everyone knows, it will be real. More than it already is. There will be no turning back.”

“I’ve never wanted to turn back.” Kara leans in, presses her forehead against Lena’s, let’s out a relieved sigh. “Let them ask, I’ll tell them I’m dating the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. Next time something bothers you just, just talk to me, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can I kiss you now? Because you didn’t have time to put on your lens today and have been walking around in glasses all day and”

Lena’s lips on her own shuts her off. It’s so gentle it makes Kara’s heart flutter against her chest, the low chuckle she lets out is swallowed by Lena’s mouth. She finds out she doesn’t care, she really doesn’t.

Her hand moves up, while the other stays firmly put with her girlfriend’s, going from her thigh, to a slim waist, up to ribs, her arm, neck, until it settles against a warm cheek. Lena leans a little more against the touch, Kara doesn’t mind.

Kissing Lena is probably (scratch that, is definitely) her favorite thing in the world. When teeth graze her bottom lip she can’t help it, she smiles, leans back and for sure she doesn’t grin when she sees Lena, still with eyes closed, chasing her lips.

She gives in (she doesn’t really try very hard to stop herself).

“Danvers!” They jump apart. Kara’s cheeks go red when she sees coach Vasquez at the sideline glaring at her, and Lena’s laugh against her ear doesn’t help. “Training.” Kara nods until she turns around.

“Stop laughing at me!” Lena gets closer, her breathing hitting Kara’s cheek, but she doesn’t stop, bringing their lips together again, kissing her pout away. “Does it mean you’re coming to my games this year too?”

“Always planned on doing so, honey.”

“And I’ll get good luck kisses?”

Lena stop for a second, arches an eyebrow (dear lord, she needs to ask Lena to do that more times), then shrugs.

“You’ll have to try your luck.”

“Can I get one now?”

The smile she gets is enough of an answer.

“DANVERS!”

She definitely doesn’t fall on the bleachers on her way down.

**

Soccer season starts on the first weekend of November, which pretty much means that it’s the month she starts fighting Lena for her jerseys.

(She often loses. Not that she’s complaining, because the sight of one Lena Luthor in a shirt written ‘Danvers’ on it makes her heart rate shamefully higher.

On the back of her mind, she can hear the faint whisper of Alex’s voice. _Fucking cliché._ )

She’s never mad, not really, but it doesn’t stop her pout from appearing, and maybe, just maybe, it’s because Lena would lean in and kiss it away. Kara thinks kissing Lena is becoming her greatest addiction.

The look of pure joy on her face as she watched Lena walk with James to the car, wearing Kara’s last season’s jersey, though (and thanks to Winn, there was proof), makes her arguments being taken less and less seriously.

Ten minutes before the game starts, Kara catches the glimpse of Lena standing as near as she can get from the field, and Kara doesn’t think twice before running ( _skipping_ , but it’s not really important) towards her.

With the added height, Lena, for once, is taller, taking it as advantage to wrap her arms around Kara’s neck, while the other’s girl hands rested on her waist.

“Good luck kiss?”

Lena arches an eyebrow ( _goddamnit_ ), tilts her head to the side, and, for sure, Kara has yet to meet someone as beautiful as her. Kara doesn’t wait for an answer, though, going up on her tiptoes to brush their lips together.

“Please?” Lena smiles, nods, before leaving a long, chaste kiss on Kara’s lips.

“Danvers!”

Kara groans, taking a step back, and turns around to be faced with coach Vasquez with her arms open and a stern look on her face.

“I’m going.” She says.

“You bet you are.”

“Good game, Kara.”

And really, she can hear the amusement on Lena’s tone.

They win their first two games at home and one away. (It’s definitely not because of the kisses.)

**

Alex comes home for Thanksgiving.

It’s not exactly a surprise, once Kara has been expecting the day her sister arrived for a week, at least. But what’s really a surprise is getting home not only to her sister, but to Lucy as well.

Not that Lucy being back for the holiday is a surprise, is just Lucy being… well, at their house. With her bags. With the two of them talking to a very concerned Eliza. And the moment she opens the door and three sets of heads turn to face her, she wishes she could be home late.

(It lasts the total amount of five seconds, because as soon as her eyes focus on Alex, she has the widest grin on her face and sprints towards her.)

“You’re sweaty.” Are the first words she hears her sister saying. But Alex makes no attempt to move.

“You’re fatter.”

“What did you just say?” Alex shoves her away, a look of fake hurt all over her face. “I just got home and I’m already feeling attacked? Mom!”

“I’m not here.”

“Hey Lucy, it’s good to see you.” Kara steps away from her sister and goes to Lucy, arms already open, but all she gets are crossed arms and a mouth hanging open.

“That’s all I get? All that excitement? Wow, Kara, thank you very much.”

But Lucy smiles, pulls her in to hug her. (Still, all that’s running through her mind is the look on James’ face as he said _She has someone else_.

 _She has someone else_.

 _She has someone else_.

 _She has someone else_.)

She looks at Alex from her embrace. ( _She has someone else_.) And she wonders.

Lucy stays over with them (“Mom, come on, Lucy and I have been sharing an apartment, I’m sure we can survive four days sharing a bedroom.” _She has someone else_.), and Kara scolds herself whenever James’ voice gets too clear.

But, oh, not wondering is impossible.

And it gets harder when all Kara can think is the unanswered message the chat with Lucy is still on.

**

Lena notices first and, after she mentions it, Kara cannot stop herself from seeing.

After the whole milkshake incident, as she likes to call, it’s been happening in alarming rates.

At the total expanse of four days at home, it happens exactly forty one times. (That’s after Lena pointed it out at the end of their dinner together the day they arrived, so Kara doesn’t know how many actually happened.)

As they walk back home, Lena being the first one to leave because she too had to enjoy the little time she would have with her brother, she can’t help but feel a little left out. It happens when they walk side by side, Lucy leaning against Alex as she laughs, maybe because of the cold or maybe just because of the intimacy of the act. As an outsider, all Kara sees is how she and Lena act around each other.

(She understands then, how everything clicks into place. _She’s dating someone else. She has someone else. Alex was the first person I kissed. Alex was the first person I actually liked. I honestly don’t know. Well, Alex, you don’t have to be a certified genius, which I am, to see it._

The scariest indeed.

Kara feels privileged, being able to see her sister falling for her best friend. And, now, seeing them dancing around each other as they try to adjust to their new status. They’re idiots and they’re in love.

She really can see why Lucy saw themselves on Lena and her.)

And so it keeps on happening.

During breakfast, the next day, Alex puts her hand on Lucy’s lower back as she hands her a mug of coffee, and Lucy gives her this adoring look accompanied by a lazy smile.

The longing looks during lunch and every time they realize what they’re doing, they duck their heads down, proceed to look at anywhere but each other and eventually they end up staring at Kara, with her blue eyes wide and fork halfway to her mouth.

Lucy curling around Alex as they settled on the couch to watch a movie, head resting on Alex’s shoulder and hands easily finding each other’s.

Alex kissing her temple before getting up. Every. Single. Time.

The casually share of clothes. The inside jokes. The laughing before the sentence is even finished because they already know where it’s going. The smiles. The blushing cheeks.

No need to be a genius indeed.

And if Kara stops to think about it, not much changed in their relationship, because they’ve always been like that. Maybe that’s the best part about being in love with your best friend.

Still, it’s doesn’t keep her from hugging Alex tight as they leave and whispering “I’m happy for you” against her ear.

The burning cheeks she gets in response are the best confirmation she could get.

**

Things go back to normal, or to as normal as they can get. Because now that she knows, looking at James gives her a sense of guilt she can’t quite erase. And she knows, she does, it’s not her fault and this shouldn’t come in between their friendship, but every time Kara looks at him she remembers how Lucy broke up with him because of Alex; for Alex.

He must see it, how forced things are becoming because he steps away, he gives her space, after all, James understands her. Eventually, he gives up, and space becomes and abysm.

Suddenly, their group is cut in half.

At that, Winn doesn’t know what to do, because it had nothing to do with him (it had nothing to do with any of them, to be honest), and still he is (they are) in the middle of the crossfire.

She thinks, by now, Lucy already talked to him, told him about Alex (she disappeared for a couple of hours the day before she went back to college and it just makes sense how the next time they saw each other, there was this air of hurt in his eyes and how hard he tried to hide it).

Kara could never blame him. Kara could never blame her sister or Lucy, either.

So she stands and watches her friendship dissolve and there’s no one to blame.

**

Training gets harder. And she trains harder than anyone else. She doesn’t say it’s because Lucy is not around and someone had to take on the responsibility she left behind.

The armband pressing around her bicep and being the one with the most experience on the team do nothing to relieve the pressure she feels around herself.

So she does what Lucy taught her. She focuses on the field. She focuses on winning the games. She focuses on giving her best and then more, the same way Lucy did.

Before she realizes it, they’ve been unbeaten for seven games, six of them victories. (She doesn’t tell Vasquez how much it adds to the pressure, she can’t be the one who wipes off the smiles on her coach’s face.)

Before she realizes it, they’re on their winter break and she doesn’t have a place to discharge her energy. She gets worked up, not something she’s proud of, but her best friend is slipping through her hands and she feels like there’s nothing she can do about it. She’s glad Lena is not around to witness the anger.

**

A week with Alex and Lucy is exactly what she needs. Especially since Lena is not around, traveling to metropolis with her family to visit Lex, but she doesn’t mention it.

She feels nothing but domestic sitting on the floor, back resting against the couch and duvet wrapped around her shoulder, mug of hot chocolate in hand, with Alex and Lucy lying down behind her.

But Eliza comes home, and their first instinct is to get as far from each other as they possibly can, ignoring the way Kara’s eyebrows knot together in confusion.

Dinner is stiff, a little tense, with Alex and Lucy sitting at the same side of the table and trying their best to keep the looks as low as possible. Eliza is having none of that. While, apparently, also having a blast.

During the entire thing, she share knowing looks with Kara, a quick raise of her eyebrow every time the girls end up elbowing and turning away, cheeks red. But she doesn’t say a word, always taking a sip of her red wine whenever Kara thinks she might end up blurting out.

Alex and Lucy are the first one to leave, making a not even close to believable excuse as to why they’re going up together, and Kara follows right after, kissing Eliza good night.

She closes the door behind her, gives them her best scolding look (it’s not as good as Lena’s, but she’s improving) and waits. And waits. And waits. Surprisingly, Alex crackles.

“I haven’t told her.”

“I noticed.”

“It’s not Alex fault, really. We haven’t decided where we stand yet.”

“And, Kara, you’re not the best for a moral lesson here. It took you a year to call Lena your girlfriend.” Kara crosses her arms, lets her mouth hang open, shakes it once.

“And this has been happening for, what? Four?”

“You told her?” Alex turns to look at Lucy.

“I thought she knew!”

“Okay, that’s not the point. Look, Kara, Lucy and I talked about this and we’ll tell mom when we’re both ready and after we figured some other things out.”

“Other things like what? James? Because Eliza knows they’re not together anymore. And she knows about you two. Come on, Lena and I figured it out after a couple of hours.” Kara sighs, lets her arms fall back into place. “Look, you two do whatever you want, okay, just… she’ll love the thought of you together. Give her some credit.”

The next morning, Kara catches a glimpse of Alex kissing Lucy as they sit on the counter with Eliza by their side.

She relaxes.

**

“My parents want to meet you.” Lena delivers, on a simple Wednesday afternoon, while she lies down on Kara’s bed, book casually being closed and tucked under the pillow.

Kara stops typing the moment the words are said between them.

The silence that stretches then is the most awkward hour of Kara’s life (it’s been thirty seconds).

It makes Lena sit up on the bed, bottom lip caught in between her teeth, and Kara turns around on the chair to look at her girlfriend.

“What?”

She had heard it perfectly well the first time, still she needed to make sure she processed it correctly. Lena seems to understand, and the way she fidgets with her glasses (since Kara rambled about them, she’s been wearing them whenever they were alone and, good God, Kara had been having trouble concentrating) is a huge giveaway of how nervous she actually is.

But she clears her throat, squares her shoulders and tries again, this time in a normal voice.

“My parents want to meet you. This Friday. For dinner, at my house.”

“That’s” Kara stops, takes a deep breath in “wow. That’s a huge step.”

“I’ve met Eliza.” She arches an eyebrow, Kara laughs. “I know it’s different, Kara, and maybe it’s my fault I didn’t present you before.”

“Is that so?”

“I have a reason.”

“You do?”

“They don’t think you’re good enough for me. They don’t accept the fact that I’m dating you.” Definitely not what Kara was expecting. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

“Because I’m a… girl?”

Lena laughs, she honest to God laughs and suddenly the tension on the room dissipates. Kara feels like breathing again. She just doesn’t know if she should be grateful for that.

“Kara, they couldn’t care less about it. It’s because I’m a Luthor and your family is not really on their social circle.”

“Like Veronica Sinclair?”

“Like Veronica Sinclair.”

“And yet, here they are, living in a quiet suburb.” Lena rolls her eyes, shuffles around until she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, completely facing Kara and close enough to touch if Kara wanted.

“They’re changing the head office to Metropolis once Lex finishes college. It doesn’t actually matters. So, about dinner?”

“If they already don’t like me, what’s the point Lena?”

Lena smiles, leans in and Kara gives in, lips pressing in a short kiss.

“I think you can charm them?” Kara smiles.

“Can I?”

“After all, you charmed me.”

She doesn’t charm Lena’s parents.

It starts badly, it’s not her fault, not really. It’s just, Lena is the one who opens the door for her and instead of letting her in, she steps out in her tiptoes to kiss Kara. She tries to fight it at first, but could you really blame her, for not trying too hard?

And it’s with her hands on Lena’s hips and Lena’s lips in between her own that she sees Lillian (Ms. Luthor) for the first time. Off to a great start.

She stumbles away from Lena, who looks pretty amused by the situation, fixes her bottom-up and extends her hand to Ms. Luthor. She’s met with a pair of eyes moving to her hand, then back to her face, and a simple “My daughter’s lipstick is still on your face”, before she turns around and back into the house.

Mr. Luthor, on the other hand, seems more receptive, shaking her hand when she offers (she makes sure her face is clean this time), and thanking her as she compliments the works of art hanging on the walls. It’s a safe territory, one that she understands, one that she’s comfortable around.

But it’s as much progress she makes during the whole night.

But Lena still holds her hand when they move to the table, tries to include Kara as much as she can during their talk and Kara even talks about how going to art school is a possibility, after all. (She doesn’t miss the way Lillian’s nose scrunches up at this.)

“They love you.” Lena contradicts her at the end of the night Kara uses an absurd amount of self-control not to laugh at her girlfriend’s face. She must’ve made a face, because next thing she knows, Lena is staring at her. “What?”

“I could bet you on that.”

“Lionel showed you his collection of medals and Lillian didn’t even try to make you cry. Not much, anyways. I told you you would charm them.”

Kara laughs this time, but it seems like nothing on the excitement on Lena’s eyes.

**

On her birthday, Kara is sick. Which kind of ruins their (Lena’s) plans of a night out.

When she lets Lena in that afternoon, she’s stubbornly wearing tight black jeans (the one Lena loves) and her favorite sweater. The duvet around her shoulders kind of ruin her look.

Lena shakes her head at Kara’s protests. She leaves, only to come back with some medicines and a stern look glued to her face. Kara doesn’t have the courage to say anything further.

So Kara’s seventeenth birthday is spent on Kara’s comfy couch, her head on her girlfriends lap and a poorly done movie on the background, as Lena’s fingers played with her hair. And maybe, just maybe, the pills start acting, her yawns increasing ever so lately, as she buries her face further into Lena.

Her girlfriend nudges her a little, Kara grumbles but obliges, so Lena can take her glasses off, then go right back at caressing Kara’s cheeks.

When she wakes up it’s dark outside, but a quick check on her phone shows it’s barely after five, and the smell of food lingers in the house. She can hear the sound of Eliza’s laughter and the rushed whispers from Lena, and all she can think is that nothing good can possibly come out from this. But it’s nice, knowing her girlfriend is comfortable enough around Eliza.

“Eliza?” She calls out, coughing fit reaching her right after.

Kara looks up to see Eliza lingering at the corner of the living room, Lena by her side, the ghost of a smile still on her face.

“You’re awake, sweetie. How are you feeling?”

“Bad.” Lena snorts, Kara attempts to glare at her.

“I called Eliza when your fever started rising up again. I was getting worried.”

She manages a smile at a sheepish Lena, before coughing again, grumbling and hiding her face on her pillow. Lena smiles at her.

“Yeah, you do that. We’ll just finish dinner, alright? And I invited Lena for dinner, if you don’t mind.” Kara only hums, turns around on the couch.

“But, mom” she calls out, tries to look at them from over her shoulder “please, don’t show her my baby pictures.”

“That didn’t even cross my mind.”

Kara misses the way Eliza’s eyes tear up, she’s too busy going back under the extra cover some of them put over her while she slept.

(It’s only a couple of days later that the words sink in, and she realizes it’s was the first time she called Eliza “mom”.

Somehow it feels right.

Somehow it doesn’t feel like she’s replacing her parents.)

(Eliza showed, much to Kara’s embarrassment, her pictures to Lena.

Kara finds out when Lena starts sending the pictures she took for Kara with a whole lot of emojis.

It would be endearing, the amount she uses, if it didn’t make her want to bury her face on the ground and never leave.)

**

February rolls around and Alex is not there and to say Kara is grumpy would be an understatement.

Winn and James have been around Kara enough to understand what the month means, and so they leave her alone, never bringing up the topic of how she doesn’t smile as much as she uses to; or how she starts making excuses to get some time alone; or how her phone never leave her side, usually with her texts with Alex on the background.

She needs her sister more than ever and she’s going to make it work one way or another.

But with Lena is a whole different story. Surely they’ve been dating for, officially, eight months (Kara prefers thinking they’ve been together since their first kiss, which means, almost a year ago), still, Lena is yet to see Kara on her worst.

It’s not like Lena has never seen her sad, because she has. But she has never seen her sad _and_ angry. And that’s a whole different story.

And so she tries, she actually does her best to act the same as Lena is around. She flashes Lena the best smiles she can (the same ones she can’t bring herself to give at anyone else), she pays attention to whatever new article Lena been gushing about, she absently runs her thumb over Lena’s knuckles as they have lunch together.

Still, it’s not good enough, because Lena can see right through her. Honestly? Kara appreciates it.

Because after the first week, her girlfriend decides it’s been long enough. And it’s with no surprise at all that Kara opens the front door Saturday morning to let Lena in.

They don’t actually talk, neither of them knowing what to say first, so, instead, they go upstairs, Kara closing the door once they’re inside her room.

She sighs, because she knows what Lena will say, and she knows Lena is right, because she remembers, she truly does, what she said months ago. _Just talk to me._ And, based purely on the way green eyes are looking at her right now, it’s the exact thought running through her mind.

So she sits down on the bed, extending her hand towards her girlfriend, who takes it with no second thought and allows herself to be pulled in. Kara hugs her, face pressed against her stomach, fingers curling around the material of Lena’s (hers) sweatshirt. She even manages to smile as she feels Lena’s fingers rubbing small circles on the base of her neck.

“Is Alex okay?” She tightens her grip, but nods nevertheless. “I just assumed it was because of her, I know how important she is to you.”

Lena’s voice is barely a whisper and so, so, soft as if she was trying not to scare Kara back to shutting her out.

“My parents died five years ago.” She feels Lena’s hands stilling against her skin, she feels the way Lena tries to lean back to look at her eyes, but Kara knows she won’t be able to do it if she’s facing Lena, and so she buries her face further in her girlfriend’s embrace. “I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

“Vulnerable?”

“Angry.”

At that, Lena exhales shakily. Kara is so close she can hear her heart pounding in her chest, it grounds her, it soothes her.

“Kara, look at me. Please.” And Kara lets the fingers brushing against her jawline raise her head, the sight of Lena’s eyes shining with unwashed tears are enough to make her own roll down. “When I say that I… that I adore you, it means everything. Every single part of you. I don’t want you to be happy all the time, because I know it’s impossible to be like that, so it’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be angry. And I want you to feel comfortable showing it when I’m around.”

Kara brings her hands to Lena’s front, grabbing at the sleeves of her hoodie and tugging at it until Lena understands, until Lena presses their foreheads together.

“Please don’t shut me out again.”

“I’m sorry.” Kara breaths out, closes her eyes and smiles a painful smile. “I miss them so much.”

“Would you tell me about them?”

It’s how, later that day, Eliza finds them: laying down on Kara’s bed facing each other, talking in nothing but whispers and hands grasped together.

(She also doesn’t question the next day when Lena walks down the stairs five minutes after Kara grabbed her first stack of pancakes. She just smiles warmly, offers her coffee and asks if she’s staying for lunch.

It’s the first time one of them stayed over.

Eliza never brings it up.)

Eleven days later, Lena is also there, this time lying behind Kara, her arm thrown over her girlfriend’s stomach and nose pressed against her neck.

They don’t talk much that day, unlike the one over a week ago, Lena understanding this is something Kara needs to do with Alex. And so she stays, letting Kara know she’s there whenever she needs, as Kara texts Alex.

And, honestly? Kara doesn’t know where she went right to have someone as amazing as Lena in her life.

(It’s not the first time the word _love_ crosses her mind, but it’s the first time the urge to say it out loud almost topples over her self-restraint.)

**

[2:30am] _Kaaaara_

[2:35am] _Can you believe how pretty my girlfriend is?_

[2:39am] _It’s mind-blowing_

[2:44am] _She always holds my hand when we’re walking_

[2:48am] _And she kisses me_

[2:50am] _In public_

[2:53am] _Lucy is awesome_

Did she force you to write this? [7:47am]

Or, like, wrote it herself? [7:48am]

Why were you awake so late? [7:50am]

Alex? [8:22am]

[8:35am] _Hey, Kara, not Alex_

[8:35am] _She has a pretty bad case of hangover_

[8:35am] _She got pretty wasted last night_

[8:36am] _I left her alone for two minutes, I swear_

[8:36am] _Next thing I know she’s betting this frat boy she could out drink him_

[8:37am] _Though, I have to say, I’m impressed with her typing skills_

[8:38am] _Not the best typing time_

[8:38am] _But impressive_

Is she okay? [8:43am]

[8:45am] _She’ll be_

[8:45am] _After some Advil_

[8:46am] _And, probably, ten more hours of sleep_

Don’t you have classes to attend? [8:47am]

Why would you go to a party on a MONDAY? [8:47am]

LUCY [8:48am]

[8:48am] _HEY_

[8:49am] _Alex asked me to go with her, okay?_

[8:49am] _I wasn’t even invited_

[8:49am] _Which, I mean, WHAT? Right?_

[8:49am] _But, again, HEY_

[8:50am] _Not my fault she had to make an asshole pass out from drinking_

[8:50am] _Then she passed out_

[8:51am] _But no one saw that, so that’s okay, also, her only class today is at 6pm_

[8:51am] _I’m the one missing my classes to look after her_

Smack her head for me when she wakes up, okay? [8:52am]

Do one for Lena too, she asked for one (Thank you, you’re the best) [8:52am]

OH [8:52am]

And one for mom as well [8:53am]

She would never ask, but she would want to do it too [8:53am]

[8:54am] _Don’t worry_

[8:54am] _I will_

[8:55am] _Hey, Kara_

[8:55am] _Shouldn’t you be in class?_

[8:55am] _Or are you in class right now?_

Oops? [8:58am]

[9:00am] _KARA!_

**

They win the State Championship on the last weekend of February.

Kara doesn’t actually know how it happened, if she’s being completely honest the last handful of hours in her life has been nothing but a blur. She remembers, barely, Lena trying to calm her down by running the pad of her thumb against her thigh.

She remembers gathering her things on her bedroom and coming down to find Lena and Eliza both waiting for her. She remembers holding their hands.

The way her stomach knotted when they finally arrived at the school, for once being able to host the final. The way Lena smiled at her and told her to go, to do her best.

Vasquez’s words to the team before they came into the field for the warm up. Leading the girls around the field as she saw the standing getting more and more crowded. Alex and Lucy arriving, rushing and slipping through the mass of bodies to arrive at their group, as close to the field as they can.

Lena calling her. Lena smiling. Lena fisting the front of her shirt. Lena wishing her good luck. Lena kissing her.

Lena. Lena. Lena.

It feels as if none of that happened just two hours ago. It feels as if it wasn’t even Kara doing it.

But then, she hears the whistle blowing for the last time, she hears the screams around her and she doesn’t know what to do. She turns around, stares blankly at her own team running towards Vasquez, the girls from the bench getting up and racing inside the field.

It hits her then. All together along with Alex’s body. She falls, her body still in and automatic response to wrap her arms around her sister’s middle, laughing echoing on her ear.

“Get off of her!” She hears Lucy’s voice, she feels someone tugging at Alex, pulling her up. She’s no free for long, Lucy replacing the spot Alex just left. “You did it!”

Kara laughs, full out laughs, nods against Lucy’s shoulder (she may also sob a little, but it’s something none of them ever mentions).

She’s able to sit up ten minutes later, after her team already pushed her family away in order for some needed celebration, after she already hugged Vasquez, after she already waved at James after the photos were taken.

She sees Lena first. Hovering around her, Eliza by one side and Winn by the other, she doesn’t over think it. And getting up it’s not as hard as she thought, neither is walking. But finding the words to say is ( _I love you, I love you, I love you_ , but she doesn’t blurt it out, somehow she doesn’t), especially with Lena looking at her like that.

They kiss, it’s simple, it’s not long nor deep, it’s a kiss they shared so many times before, but somehow means so much more. As Lena leans back, Kara grips at her waist tighter, pulls her closer.

“You’re sweaty, Superstar.”

Kara laughs, rests her forehead on Lena’s shoulder, breaths out a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, Kara, trade your family for your girlfriend! I can’t believe I came all the way from Portland for this.”

“Shush, Alex, they’re sharing a moment.”

“And here I thought my girlfriend would support me.”

“Alex, you’re interrupting them.”

“But, Lucy.”

“But, Alex.”

Kara is the one who lift the trophy later that night. James sends her the picture later (her full out grin, trophy above her head and all the girls around her in a mid-shout), she thinks it’s his way of reaching out.

Lena stays over, and they talk when the house feels too quiet. And they kiss when there are no other words to be shared. Kara holds Lena’s wrist when she feels it hesitate just before reaching under her t-shirt, when she feels Lena’s lips quiver under her own.

They press their foreheads together, Kara tilting her head in the slightest to brush her nose against Lena’s, the smile she earns is worthy.

“Hey.” She whispers.

“Hi.” Lena answers.

“I know we haven’t talked about” she stops herself as she feels her face getting hotter, focus on interweaving her fingers on Lena’s hand she was holding “we haven’t exactly talked about it, but we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I mean it.”

Lena brings her free hand up, fingers easily sliding against Kara’s neck, scraping at the base of her head.

“Are you sure?”

“Never been surer. I will never force you into anything, Lena.”

It’s the right choice, she decides as Lena smiles at her, kisses her one more time and curls herself around Kara, face tucked at the spot Kara’s neck meets her shoulder.

It’s enough.

It’s more than enough.

( _I love you_ , she thinks. She brings Lena’s body closer, instead.)

**

The next Wednesday, Kara arrives first to the cafeteria. It’s not unusual, it’s something that’s been happening for a while now. (James was the one with her on Wednesdays, but not anymore.)

She smiles at Winn, Lyra and Alana as they sit across from her, the same time the place starts to get crowded. Lena is the next one to arrive, hand resting against Kara’s arm and lips easily finding her cheek.

She nods at the guys from the basketball team and waves at her teammates. (There’s still this hype on school since Saturday and Kara doesn’t know when it’s going to end. She doesn’t really mind.)

But then, a sixth tray is put on the head of the table followed by James. Winn squeals (later he will argue her definitely did not), and the girls smile at him. He takes the first bite without a word, until he notices the silence around him and looks up.

“What?” Kara smiles.

“It’s good to have you back, James.”

“As if I would leave in bad terms with you guys.”


	3. Senior Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that, I'm alive and finishing what I had to do
> 
> I'm really sorry it took so long and it's totally on me I admit it (I had a very strange year since the last time I posted a chapter here)
> 
> Anyways, it didn't turn out the way I wanted, the pace felt kinda wrong, but I've been working on it for a long time and so I think it's the way it has to be, for now
> 
> As always, enjoy the reading

It happens during their first week of summer break. 

If Kara were to look at the hours previous the event, nothing led towards it. 

Her evening had started as usual, coming back home from her afternoon shift at the coffee shop and rapidly untying her hair, striding directly to the kitchen. 

The note on the refrigerator wasn’t a surprise, at all, it’s something Eliza’s been doing since their routines started to unmatch. Usually, they were nothing but reminders for Kara to take out the trash, to not forget to buy groceries the following day because she wouldn’t have the time; and, sometimes, there was a simple ‘I love you’ written on them (those always made her smile). 

She dethatched it from the freezer door to read it as she opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. 

 _Working late today_  

 _There’s money on the counter for take out_  

 _Don’t forget you have mail_  

 _I love you – Mom_  

(They had talked about it, a few weeks after the first time, when Kara noticed how Eliza would widen her eyes whenever Kara called her. She made sure Eliza knew she wasn’t uncomfortable at all, and, if it was okay with Eliza, she would start saying more times. 

Eliza had hugged her. There were no words needed.) 

She sighed, picked up and apple (it was definitely not because of Lena’s voice in her head) and strode to the counter. 

The letter itself wasn’t big, but, oh, it was important.  

ALEX [6:31pm] 

LUCY [6:32pm] 

[image.jpg] [6:32pm] 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [6:32pm] 

Kara let her phone down on the counter, already reaching out for her shoes and leaving the house again. She wanted a hug and she wanted to talk to Lena. It didn’t take a genius to solve the problem. 

The apple stays untouched by the side of the money.  

So she ran. Which, looking back, was a really stupid decision. But she made it, slightly out of breath and red cheeked, but she did. She knocked at the front door and rang the doorbell until Lena opened it with an annoyed face, mouth half opened to say something. Kara urged forward, hugged her and kissed her (looking back, it was a series of stupid decisions).  

Which takes her to the present moment, where she has Lena’s waist in her hands, while Lena rakes her own up to stop one at the back of her neck and the other on her hair. And the kiss (oh God, the kiss), Kara’s sure she could melt at any passing second.  

The present moment where they’re in a very deep kiss with the front door open and the possibility of Lena’s parents at the house. It’s actually physically painful to Kara to lean back, but the way Lena stare back at her makes it all worth it.  

“That’s because you haven’t seen me in two days?” Lena asks, untangles her hand from Kara’s hair to be able to touch red kissed lips. The smile she receives from Kara is blinding. 

“I got called for summer camp with the under nineteen National Team.” 

It’s surreal, saying it out loud for the first time. It’s surreal saying it out loud, period. 

And Lena’s smile is so bright it almost matches her own, green eyes with so much adoration Kara starts finding harder and harder to not say she loves her. (Honestly, it’s been so long since she wanted to say, she doesn’t know what stops her this far.) 

If Kara’s heart almost tumbles out of her chest from how strong it beats against her ribcage, it’s definitely because of that smile. 

“You what?” 

“I got called”  

She never has the chance to finish.  

Lena kisses her so hard she takes a step back to stop herself from falling. She doesn’t know how long it passes, but at some point Lena starts pulling her into the house to close the front door, hands sliding easily under the front of her shirt. 

The groan she lets out is enough to prompt Lena to move down, lips moving to her jaw, her neck, her pulse point. Kara lets her hand find Lena’s hair, pulling her forward and throwing her head back to make it easier.  

Only when Lena moves her hands higher, Kara remembers they’re still pretty much standing at the main entrance.  

“Lena?” More than anything she feels her girlfriend humming against her skin, fingers sprawled on her stomach, teeth grazing against her neck. “Oh God, okay, uh, Lena I don’t think we should do this here.” 

Big, bright eyes stare back at her, the place on her neck Lena was burns and it just takes so much self-control not to allow her back. 

“Yes, Kara?” And, for effect, she arches an eyebrow, Kara swears her knees go weak at the sight. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be making out here.” 

At that, Lena stops completely, leaning back and taking her hands from under Kara’s shirt, running it down the front to fix it and then placing them on its collar. Her fingers fidget with the material, suddenly shy, as she averts her gaze. 

“Well, maybe I was hoping it could be more than making out.”  

Kara puts a strand of raven hair behind Lena’s ear, gives her a small smile before resting her hand against a soft cheek. 

“Are you sure?” Lena smiles, stands on her tiptoes to bring their lips together in a gentle kiss. 

"I've been thinking about it for quite some time, now, and yes, I'm pretty sure." 

"What about your parents?" 

"Not home." 

"Lex?" Kara raises an eyebrow, Lena laughs at her. 

"In dad's study, on the third floor. It's quite far from my room." 

Kara can't really argue at that. 

And it's awkward, if anything things are a bit rushed, and she ends up making Lena chuckle through half of it (through the other half, she makes her moan, but there's really no need to brag about it). But it's theirs and, for that, Kara wouldn't trade it for the world.  

** 

"Have you eaten anything tonight?" 

Lena is the one who breaks the silence over an hour later, when both of them lay on Lena's bed, legs tangled and sheets covering up until their waist.  

Kara has to snap out of it. She was not even ashamed of admitting her eyes were completely fixed on Lena's chest, flushed and with a thin layer of sweat, but it doesn't mean her cheeks don't go red. 

She nods, snuggles closer to wrap and arm around Lena's middle, nails scratching at the sensitive skin of her lower back. 

"Yeah" 

"Kara" Lena cuts her off, leaves a kiss to her jaw "I swear to God if you say the word 'you', we're breaking up." 

"Then, no, I haven't eaten anything tonight." 

"I hate you." 

"Nah, I'm pretty sure you love me." 

They stop at this, Kara's fingers stilling, Lena's breathing hitching against Kara's neck.  

Her girlfriend wriggles around, until theirs faces are at the same level, runs her nose against the expanse of Kara's cheek, only to brush her lips on her nose. 

"I do, you know?" Lena raises an eyebrow, a glint in her eyes Kara can't quite understand. "I do love you." 

She smiles, at how close they are she's sure Lena can feel how hard her heart beats, because she can feel hers. And, honestly, it grounds her. 

"Good."  

"That's it?" 

"Yeah." 

"Jerk." 

"One that is in love with you." Kara rakes her hand down the covers, fingers barely grazing at the skin on Lena's hips as she hears a gasp. "One that you love." She applies enough pressure on the inside of one of Lena's thigh so she understands, and Kara rolls up to the space made for her. "I do love you." 

Lena smiles, takes one of Kara's hands, fingers intertwining, leans up to leave a chaste kiss to thin lips. 

"I thought we were going to eat now?" 

"Oh Lena, babe, you make it so easy." 

They absolutely don't spend another hour on Lena's bed. 

** 

Lex is popped up on the counter when she comes down. 

He doesn't even look up from the book in his hands when Kara stops near him, fingers already curling on the hem of her tank top, weight being tossed from one foot to the other. 

"There's pizza somewhere over there," he points towards the general direction of the kitchen sink "make sure you take a plate and cutlery for Lena, she's weird like that. There's that awful vegetarian thing she eats and pepperoni, from what she tells me about you, you should take both upstairs." 

Kara laughs at this, Lex's eyes perching up from the book to take a look at her, and even a slight smile.  

By the time she manages to balance everything they need (and, okay, maybe she went a little over the top, and maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't need three bags of chips) in her hands, she hears Lex sighing. The sound is followed by the very familiar ones of the closing of a book and the soft thud of it being placed at the counter. 

So she stops, just as she's leaving the kitchen and Lex behind, and looks at him from over her shoulder. He tries to send her a reassuring smile, the scar on his cheek following the movement, it doesn't work very well. 

"I guess by now I don't have to warn you not to hurt my little sister, right?" Kara shakes her head, restrains herself from reaching up to adjust her glasses (she's not wearing them and doubts she could keep her pile in one arm only). "She cares a lot about you." 

"It's not… she's really important to me too, more than I can tell you." 

"Does she know it?" 

"Yes." 

"Okay." He goes back to his book and Kara thinks this is all she will get and, strangely enough, this feels like the closer to an approval she will get from any Luthor. "Oh, and Kara," he calls back, she stops right at the base of the stairs "tell Lena I didn't peg her to be the type to keep them pantless. I'm proud." 

Kara looks down at her own legs, or as best as she can, and she groans. 

** 

Breakfast with the Luthors is unexpected. That is saying the least about it all. 

She never expected to come down to the sight of Lillian Luthor nursing a cup of coffee while she put one by Lex's side, a fast kiss to the top of his head before she turns around, and Lionel Luthor in his business attire cutting a stash of fruits. 

She never expected it to feel so… domestic? Domestic is definitely the word she's looking for. 

But then Lena is smiling at her, hand extended, and Kara doesn't hesitate on liking their fingers and allowing herself to be pulled to the table, taking a seat in front of Lex.  

"Good morning, miss Danvers." Lionel greets her, Kara sends him a smile in response. "Strawberry? Banana? Orange? There's peach too, if you like. Lex, come help me take them to the table."  

He groans but complies, helping his father out. 

"So, miss Danvers, can I call you Kara?" 

"Of course." She feels Lena's hand slipping around her knee, a gentle squeeze pressed against it.  

When they come back, Lionel doesn't seat, unlike Lex, choosing to lean against a chair instead, generous sip of coffee being taken 

"You're Eliza Danvers' daughter, right?" Kara nods, beams at him as Lena starts reaching out to start her breakfast. "I've read her thesis on cell therapy. She's extraordinary." 

"She is. She managed to convince my sister, Alex, to get into the same field." 

"Apparently, Alex wasn't the only one convinced by her."  

Lionel raises an eyebrow, as he brings the mug back to his lips, in a way that just screams 'Lena' and she is sure where Lena learnt it. Her girlfriend blushes by her side, busies herself with filling a glass of water. 

"I understand you're not following the path, then?" It's the first time Lillian addresses her and it honestly shakes her. And maybe scares her a little. 

"Not really." Three pair of eyes turn back at her, she feels the heath climbing up to her cheeks, her fingers go straight to the hem of her shirt. "Hopefully, I'll manage to play professionally." 

"You play?" 

"Soccer." She smiles remembering the reason she came. "I got called for summer camp with the national team. I leave for Colorado for three weeks on Tuesday." 

"That's actually impressive, Kara." 

"Mom, dad" Lex looks up from his mug, lets out a loud sigh "don't you have a meeting to get going to?" 

They don't take long after that, rushing out and closing the door behind them, and Kara feels like breathing again. 

It could've been worst. It could've been like the first time. She still remembers Lillian's glare and her voice as she simply stated where Lena's lipstick was. 

"Fucking finally." Lex mutters and gets up, sends a conspiratorial smile in Kara's direction. "Thought they would never leave. Want some real food, Kara? Not the best cook but I can make bacon and pancakes." 

She's starting to grow very fond (and very fast) of Lex.  

** 

Eliza is pissed, with pissed being an understatement. What's also an understatement is saying Kara feels guilty. 

So she doesn't argue as Eliza holds her so tight she can barely breathe ("Oh Kara, honey, you got me worried sick."); she doesn't fight when Eliza scolds at her ("You can't just leave without your phone and not come back! I'm not madder at you right now because Lena texted me in the middle of the night to ask if you could stay over at hers. Really, Kara, don't ever do that again."); she doesn't smile when Eliza congratulates her on summer camp ("Do you want help setting up your bags?"). 

Kara hugs her again, presses her face against her stomach and sighs contently, the reality of being away from her family for three weeks finally sinking in. Eliza understands, she always does, and doesn't bring it up until after dinner.  

The answer she gets is nothing but a nod from Kara and both of them move upstairs to start picking up her soccer gear. 

** 

“Lena and I slept together.” She says it during dinner and Eliza actually stops the fork she’s holding halfway to her mouth to look at her. “I just wanted you to know because we talked about it and you said you wanted me to be comfortable enough to talk about it with you, and this is me saying that I am, I guess.” 

“Okay.” 

“That’s it?” 

“I told you, Kara, I’m not going to forbid you of anything. I trust you to make your own decisions with your girlfriend, and I’m happy you told me.” 

“Thank you, mom.” 

It slips, simple as that, and they don’t mention it. Because there’s no need for it. Kara sees it in her eyes and in the warmest smile Eliza is capable of giving, and she knows it.  

** 

[8:03pm] [image6719.jpg]

[8:03pm] Guess it won’t be this time we’re back together in camp 

[8:57pm]  _KARA_  

[8:57pm]  _I AM SO PROUD OF YOU_  

[8:58pm]  _Of both of you of course, but less of Lucy_  

[8:58pm] HEY

[8:58pm]  _I love you so_ _much_ _and you deserve it_  

[8:58pm]  _Don’t forget about your sister once you’re famous_  

[10:16pm]  _Ok, you haven’t seen this yet, so you’re at Lena’s_  

[10:17pm]  _Text me when you get back so I can call you_  

[11:04pm] Hon, I don’t think she’s going home tonight

[11:04pm] Don’t do anything I wouldn’t, Kara

[11:12pm]  _Unnecessary_  

[11:12pm]  _I think_ _it’s_ _time we have THE talk, Kara_  

[7:47am] She’s not back yet 

[7:50am] I taught you well, kid

** 

Camp is hard. Hard not being the right word to use because it's quite… light. 

If she's being completely honest, at the end of most days she feels like curling herself on the floor and crying until she felt her calves stop burning. 

Usually the texts came during those moments and she would groan just a little before reaching out for her phone. It's easily the best decision she does every day. 

They tie the two international friendlies by the end of those weeks. She's just glad she got a chance to play for thirty minutes overall during both matches. 

** 

No one goes to take her on the bus station. After three weeks spending every awaken moment with other twenty eighteen year old, Kara embraces the silence with a relieved sigh. 

Logically, her first stop shouldn’t even be something she should think about. Logically, she should go home, take one long bath, text Lena, hug her mom, and take the best nap she could muster.  

Somehow, she wasn’t feeling very logical at that moment. 

It’s how, twenty-seven minutes later, she finds herself walking towards the porch to a very familiar house for completely different reasons. There was a reason, she would think later, that her first choice was James. She knocks, and waits, and stays when he smiles after opening the door. 

They don’t share words, they never had the need to fulfill the silence between them, somehow, James always made her calmer, made her slow down. 

They don’t need words to say what they have to.  _I’ll miss you. I’m sorry you got hurt. Don’t forget us._  

 _“_ Don’t let the West Coast get over your head.” She settles with in the end, he laughs, and laughs, and it’s enough. 

It’s everything. 

** 

"Jack Spheer seems" Kara stops, thinks about the best word of use in this situation before settling with "…nice." 

Lena barely acknowledges her, one hand keeping her book opened and the other tightly wrapped in Kara's, as the latter guided them through the crowd of students in the hallway.  

Kara tries not to think about how they left their last class together, with Jack too close for Kara's comfort, hand in between Lena's shoulder blades and head tipped down to whisper against her ear. She had looked down, not wanting to see the look of pure joy on her girlfriend's face. Still, she could hear the laugh. The same one only Kara was able to hear.  

It's not like no one else should be able to make Lena happy except from her, it would never be like that. Kara thinks Lena deserves the world, and, if she let her, Kara would give it to her.  

The tight feeling on her chest comes from way down. It comes from the same place it did on their sophomore year, whenever she had to see Lena and Veronica together.  

(Veronica is no longer around and, for once, Kara felt like she didn't have to feel jealousy anymore. 

She was wrong.) 

And the jealousy comes, unfortunately it's an emotion she's been having a lot lately. She knows, she does, Lena is undoubtedly beautiful and that alone gives her and endless list of choices, but Lena is also the most caring person she's ever met. Suddenly, endless doubles. 

Kara knows it's irrational, but it's been three weeks since Jack started to tiptoe around her girlfriend and somehow, he still didn't get the hint. Somehow, Lena still didn't tell him off. This is what scares her.  

"Lena?" 

"Hm?" 

"About Jack." 

"Oh, right." She closes the book, making sure one of her fingers marks the page she's in before turning her head around to look at Kara. "He's alright, a bit pushy sometimes, and he's just so smart." 

"Isn't his accent also amazing and isn't he good looking?"  

She doesn't notice Lena has stopped dead in her tracks until she feels her arm being pulled back.  

The little smirk on the corner of her lips would be beautiful if not so dangerous. And she sees how hard Lena has to fight to keep from breaking into a smile.  

She pulls her forward, Kara making little resistance into going, and wraps her free arm around Kara's neck, book digging into her back.  

"Is the great Kara Danvers jealous?"  

Kara's expression hardens, her eyes leave Lena's as she concentrates on pushing her glasses up. She mumbles out a  _maybe_  and Lena all but coos her. 

"Hey, Kara, look at me. Please?" She does, all red cheeked she looks into warm green eyes. "I know he's been hitting on me, he hasn't been very subtle about it. And I told him I'm not interested." 

"Did he listen to you?" 

"No?" Lena tries to smile at her own tone, Kara doesn't find t funny at all. "I'm trying to befriend him, he can be a genuine caring guy, but if he continues it's not going to happen." 

"Why do you have to be so nice?" 

Lena laughs, leans up to kiss her pout away and her lips linger between Kara's eyebrows. She sighs, fingers wrapping around a thin waist to keep her balanced. 

"I learnt from you." 

"I hate feeling jealous." Lena lets out a breathless laugh, kisses her again. 

"It doesn't suit you." They lean their foreheads together, Lena's nose barely brushing her own. "There's no one I'd rather be with than you."  

Something light hits the back of Kara's head, she whips around to find Winn glaring at them and his hoodie by her side. 

"Stop being gross. You're blocking the path." 

** 

"I can't believe you convinced me to come." 

It wasn't even a fight. Lena hadn't had to do much, all it took was a pout and a "please" and Kara was already a goner. And then, Kara figured out she needed to learn how to deny things to her girlfriend. 

She tugs at her collar for good measure, then tries to tug down the black material to cover her stomach without much success. Lena, by her side, only chuckles and tightens her hold on Kara's right hand. 

"Well, I'm pretty sure I only asked nicely. And then mentioned it was Jack’s party and you needed to show me off."  

“I hate parties.” 

“I know.” Lena’s hand leaves hers, her fingers gaze lightly at the exposed skin right of Kara’s waist. “That’s why we’re staying long enough for you to assort your dominance over Jack, 

(“I do not!”) 

and then we’re going back to my place for candies and bad movies. Deal?” 

“Only if I can choose the movie.” 

(She didn’t. But neither of them really paid any attention to the movie.) 

** 

Their first game of the season marks the rematch of last Championship final. 

It's not nearly as hard as it was. But Kara gives her everything and then some.  

She feels happy, light, as she usually feels when she gets on the field. It’s easier too, after her first year as a captain, even though the pressure is still there. 

She doesn’t feel it as much as she used to. It’s good, it’s better. And, if she often searches for the same eyes and smiles, it’s nothing but to find comfort. 

** 

"What do you mean Alex is not coming home?" 

Eliza breaks the news to her two days before Thanksgiving. 

And she waits for an answer as she watches Eliza fidgeting with the car keys. She doesn’t want to press, not really, but as the seconds go by, she finds it harder and harder to wait. 

“Mom?” 

Eliza opens the front door for them, let’s Kara in first and follows her to the living room. An important talk is the last thing she wants right now (she’s sweaty, tired and Lena is coming over in half an hour, so she  _really_  needs a shower), but somehow it’s what she gets. 

Kara doesn’t sit, not even after Eliza took a sit at the far end of the couch, choosing to lean against the opposite wall instead.  

“Lucy couldn’t get a break from work, so Alex didn’t want to leave her alone.” 

“Why is Lucy working?” 

“It’s not my place to tell you, Kara.” 

She frowns, takes a long glance at Eliza.  

“It's her father, isn’t it? Because of Alex?” 

Eliza doesn’t need to say anything else. She’s really going to miss her sister.  

** 

[9:30am] I’m so sorry, Kara, I told Alex to go but she wouldn’t listen 

[9:30am] I wanted her to go but you know her 

[9:31am] I’m really sorry I can’t go and Alex is staying, I know you miss her 

It’s okay [11:45am] 

I just really miss you two [11:45am] 

** 

Lena's text is a mess that leaves her shaken. No one expects to receive something along the lines of 'Can't go home now. Can I stay over at yours?' at ten past eleven on a Thursday night.  

Nevertheless, she rolls out of bed, shrinking inside her hoodie to keep the warmth around her as she peddles down the stairs, feet against cold wood and sleep threatening to close her eyes for good.  

She doesn't. And all it takes is one look at her girlfriend so and all of her tiredness slips from her, somehow her body seems to wake at every silent tear Lena lets out. It doesn't take words, it never took with them, it was more like one look and Kara knew: no questions. Not for a while, at least. 

And she holds her, like she dreams about doing every day, fingers easily slipping into dark hair, arm holding her waist and pressing closer still, trying to physically assure her she'll always be here. Kara tries, she surely tries, to take a step back with Lena, close the door behind them, bring them inside and away from the cold. Lena doesn't seem fond of the idea, tightening her hold on Kara's hoodie, instead, not a sound coming from her and Kara would doubt she was really crying if not for the cold tears she felt against her neck. 

The following shuddering breath hurts her more than she thought it was possible, and she'd do anything to take some of the pain away. But she can't, so she stays and let's Lena let out her frustration. 

It takes some minutes, more than she realizes, before they have some space, and Kara locks the door, moves them to the couch. They sit together, the blanket that was once thrown over the back of the couch over their shoulders, hands interlocked and only a redness in Lena's eyes she was sure wasn't leaving anytime soon. 

They don't talk, it wasn't needed. Like all of the times before when one of them was hurting, words were the very less of the comprehension shared between them. 

Kara forces her to take a glass of water, fingers pressing slightly against Lena's back while she does so, before she finally takes upon herself to bring them upstairs. The look of exhaustion had already taken upon all of her expression, and it was only confirmed once Kara settled her down on her bed and Lena curled herself against her pillow. She climbs after her, lips brushing against Lena's temple, fingers gently putting locks of dark hair away from reddened green eyes. 

"Got any space for me?" It's a whisper, the fear of breaking their own world or scaring Lena way too strong for her words to come out any higher. 

And it's all it takes for Lena to release her grip on the pillow, turning on her other side, instead, to face Kara. It's not unusual, then, how their bodies find comfort in the other, legs tangling, hands finding lower backs, lips pressed against necks, heads tucked under chins. 

Kara thinks for a moment this is everything she wished for, but, somehow, she got even more.  

"I'm a Luthor." 

She leans back, head popping up so she can rest her chin against Kara's chest and their eyes meet. Kara doesn't dare to day a word, hoping it would prompt another sting of words from her. It doesn't.  

"Of course you are, Lena." 

"No." The shake of her head is light, and she can barely feel it, for a second, she thinks she imagined it, until Lena shifts again, one hand coming up to press just above her heart. "Lionel is my father. Actually, my father. He cheated on Lillian with my mother and, after she died, he took me in to avoid the scandal. To avoid it again. Lillian-she, she hates me, Kara, you have no idea how much, and I never knew what I've done wrong." 

Kara pulls her closer, tries not to stare at the eyes filled with tears because she's not strong enough. It's not a surprise Lena is the strong one. She's more surprised she hasn't broken down so far. Maybe she'll do just fine this time. 

"Turns out, it's not my fault my mother hates me. And I can do nothing to change that." 

She was wrong. 

There are no words she can offer, so she offers comfort instead. And it works, she thinks. She tries her best, and hopes it's enough for Lena.  

** 

She is not fast enough to avoid the tackle. The opponent goalkeeper ends up hitting her ankle right after she makes the pass. She falls, the pain in her leg surging before her body even hits the ground. 

It seems as if everything stops around her, body curling on the field and hands automatically going to the source of the pain. 

Kara tries to keep her body from shaking, grits her teeth to keep from screaming, breaths in and out evenly to keep herself from getting desperate. And she manages, until Vasquez is crouched by her side and her teammates had gathered around her. 

"Can you get up?"  

And it's how she leaves the field, directly to the locker room, leaning against one of the girls who were on the bench and walking only with her right leg. 

Lena is already there, so are Eliza and Winn, and Kara is not sure if she's supposed to be relieved or overwhelmed by the worry on her girlfriends face.  

She manages a smile, it's weak and small, but Lena accepts it, both hands cupping Kara's jaw and turning her head to the sides looking for anything. 

"I hurt my foot, not my face." 

Lena laughs but doesn't let go. Eliza helps her sit down and Kara's heart drops when she sees Lena kneeling in front of her, fingers moving to help her out of her cleats. 

It's such a small, simple gesture, but it doesn't fail to bring tears to her eyes, especially as she feels the adrenaline downing. So, she clenches her jaw harder, faces a spot above Lena's shoulder.  

Eliza is the only one to catch her eyes, so she sends her a warm smile coming to stand behind Lena and resting a hand on her.  

"We just have to wait until Vasquez comes in to get you to the hospital, okay honey?" Kara nods, glad for the way Lena stilled her hands against her calf. "Can you hold on for ten minutes?" Another nod. 

It takes them longer than two hours until Kara finds herself sitting on top of a hospital bed, legs dangling from the edge and a black boot wrapped tightly around her left foot.  

She may also have overreacted over the pain she was feeling and maybe she took one painkiller over what she was supposed to. But it has nothing to do with the fact that she's humming with her head down, hands resting against her side. 

Kara doesn't see Lena at first, but then her personal space is invaded, a pair of legs appearing in between her own. She looks up with a lazy grin on her lips and she's welcomed with a glare. 

But Lena looks beautiful, even in this horrible hospital light, and behind the hard expression, she's nothing but warm.  

"Don't ever hurt yourself like that again." 

"Lena, I'm pretty sure it wasn't my fault." 

"Whatever you say." She presses her lips against Kara's temple prompting a loud sigh from the blonde. "You got me so worried." 

"Did we score?" 

Lena snorts, arms wrapping around Kara's neck as the same buried her face against Lena's stomach.  

"Yes, you did." 

** 

"Can I get a dog for Christmas?" 

"No." Eliza answers right away. She turns at her girlfriend, smiling her best smile and looking at her with the best puppy eyes she's even done. 

"Can you get a dog so I get a dog?" 

"No." Eliza answers for Lena, and truly Kara doesn't blame her. The way Lena is gasping at her, the only thing coming out from her mouth would be a squealed 'yes'. “The only dog entering that house will be stuffed.” 

Kara laughs and holds her hand tighter.  

She is still limping, more afraid than anything to put her weight on her bad foot (after one very unfortunate day, she promised herself she wouldn’t dare to try and do it again before her doctor said she could). But Lena uses it as an excuse to wrap her arm around Kara’s waist and tug her closer. 

“Ready?” Lena asks once they’re close enough to the car. 

“I really missed them.” 

It’s enough of an answer.  

** 

She comes back to the field three games later. And she's not on her best shape, not confident enough to lean as much as she used to in her left leg and completely out of her game. She plays for half a game.  

The second the whistle is blown for the last time, Kara drops down on the field, hand already reaching for the ankle and the non-existing pain. She always knew her recovery would take time, and effort, a lot of effort. 

She never thought it would be that much. 

And frustrated was too little of an emotion for what she was feeling at the moment. She takes her time to roll down her socks, holds her shin guards strongly in hands, before looking up. She finds Vasquez first, who gives her a nod and a minimum smile (It’s more than enough, in a way that says  _we’re happy you’re back_ ), then her teammates (still high from the tight victor), to finally settle on Eliza and Lena (and, of course, on the matching expression of worry). 

Kara tries her best smile, it’s weird and she’s the first one to admit it. But Lena smiles back, the small, warm one she always saves for Kara and Kara only, and maybe, just maybe, it won’t be so hard. 

** 

Her birthday is spent on her bedroom. If Lena is with her, is definitely upon accident. Consequently, if more than half of their clothes never leave the floor of her room, it's definitely not her fault.  

She doesn’t try to hold Lena back, even when she feels the comforting weight that had settle on top of her moving. She misses the contact immediately. But the sight she gets is perfect, so she doesn’t find it in herself to let out the low whine that threatened to leave her throat.  

Lena just finished putting her bra on and just swept all of her hair over one shoulder, and she is met with the most beautiful vision she has ever laid her eyes on. (Apparently, that’s a current thought on her mid whenever she thinks about Lena.) She extends her hand, finger tracing the light freckles on smooth skin and sees how Lena reacts to her touch. 

“Your hand is cold.” But she doesn’t try to scape it, gives one look over her shoulder instead, small smile on her lips. “I really love you, you know?” 

“Come back here.” 

“I would love nothing more than that, but, last time you said Eliza was working late, I couldn’t face her for a month, so I wouldn’t like to repeat that. Naked, on top of it.” 

Kara laughs at the seriousness of her tone. It dies back in her throat as she stares Lena getting up and pulling her pants back on. In moments like those, with the surviving lights of sunset passing through her window landing on her bare shoulders, Kara wished she managed to manipulate the words to describe such beauty. It was never enough. No words were good enough for her. 

Sometimes, Kara would think, Lena deserved her own language, something as beautiful as her. A language that would contain the words to describe her. English was not enough for it.  

“Have you seen my shirt?” 

“I think you threw it at the desk earlier.” 

The stern look isn’t enough to retrieve the playfulness of the situation and Kara rolls to her stomach to continue to look at her girlfriend. She is met with her sports bra thrown at her face. 

“You got a letter from Drew.” Kara looks over her shoulder, at where Lena is still standing, before silently going back to pulling her shorts up. “New Jersey. Were you going to tell me?” 

“Eventually, yes.” She doesn’t need to look to know the kind of look Lena is giving her right now.  _We_ need _to talk about this_. “I didn’t know how to tell you after you said your mind was set in Metropolis.” 

Kara reaches for her, then, places the letter back into its place on top of her desk and finds green. Nothing but green.  _Later? Please?_  There’s a nod and the smallest smile she’s ever seen on Lena’s face. 

She kisses her, long and sweet, the kind of kiss Kara only ever imagined she would be able to get in her life. They have so many things to say, Kara has so many things to say. 

“I really love you too.” Is what she settles with before leaving the room in search for air.  

 _Shit._  

 _Language_ _!_  The voice strangely sounds like Alex’s. 

** 

“You got less annoying over the years.” 

“Thank you for the love, Winn.” 

“Any news on James?” 

“Apart from a couple of pictures, no. You?” 

“A text or two. He’s not good at this long-distance thing.” 

 _No_ , she thinks, _he isn’t_.  

** 

"Can we talk?" 

Kara immediately stops putting her cleats on and looks at the nervous look on her girlfriend’s face. For a moment she thinks about reaching out, taking her trembling hands in hers, the ways she has done so many times before in this same bleacher, a comforting gesture to ease whatever conversation is about to come. 

She’ll hate this, she doesn’t even have to think about it all that much to know it’s true. All it took was one look at Lena, at the way she refused to meet her eyes, at the way she kept biting the inside of her cheeks. She’s nervous around her, and Lena was never again nervous around her. 

Still, she doesn’t push. The words would come out eventually and the weight they didn’t feel in over two years would be back. 

It’s mind-blowing, actually, how they never get mad at each other, never truly mad. At how easy everything feels around them. Because, Kara found comfort in Lena, in a way she only had found in Alex and Lucy, and it never felt hard, it was never a bother.  

“I think we should talk about what we are going to do.” The words come in surprise, apparently even for Lena, at how her hands still after the words leave her mouth. “After July.” 

And, of course, there was this haze around them every day after the hushed words they shared in bed weeks ago. At how they acknowledged the fact they will have thousands of miles between them in little more than six months.  

Kara thinks, knows, even, that this was a conversation they would eventually have. She never thought it would come so soon.  

“Because I think we won’t change our minds about college and you’re doing what’s best for you, while I am doing the same and I don’t think we need something that will take so much time from us when we’ll already have so much to think about.” 

There it was. The statement that none of them ever dared to say out loud but both knew was a possibility they would have to consider. 

“Are you really saying what I think you’re saying?” Lena doesn’t say anything, still refuses to look at her and Kara is left to stare at her profile. The same one she has memorized for how many times she has looked before and all she sees the distant look she carries. “Are you really considering this?” 

“Don’t tell me you never thought about it.” 

“Never.” This does it. Lena turns to her, surprise showing at the way her eyes are slightly wide, green clearer than ever in the afternoon light.  _She looks beautiful_ , Kara thinks,  _she always does_.  _She looks scared_. “Not having you as my girlfriend was never an option.” 

 “It will be exhausting, we’re going fight, Kara, we never fight. We’re gonna be so stressed at each other. I don’t want to become that couple, I can’t do this.” 

The silence stretches between them. It’s something she never thought it would happen. Lose Lena.  _Lose Lena_ , the words don’t feel right together.  

“Do you really want to? Break up with me and go back to friends?”  _Please don’t do this_. 

“Yes.”  _Don’t go_ _, I’m afraid you won’t come back to me_. 

That settles it, then. Kara gets up, nodding, numb. She doesn’t find the words to describe the ache that settled in her heart, or how she can’t hear nothing but her own blood thumping against her ear. 

She starts to go down, one step at the time, it feels wrong. It’s mechanic, like she doesn’t even have to think about what she’s doing, and not in the way she doesn’t have to think about what she’s doing inside the field because it’s instinct.  

A hand wraps her wrist. She stops, but doesn’t look back, she can’t, she can’t face Lena because she’s not strong enough for that. 

“Kara, please. Kara.” And it’s broken and enough to break whatever was left of Kara’s heart. 

“I can’t be your friend, not after knowing what was like to have more.” It’s strangely familiar, both of them know it. “Thank you for telling me.”  _I love_ _you_. 

Kara misses every shot she takes that afternoon.   

(She only breaks down later that night, when Eliza is home and holding her, and her phone won’t stop lighting up with the name  _Lena_  on it.) 

** 

[2:04am] I love your sister and I’m gonna marry her someday 

[2:04am] It felt wrong not telling you this 

[2:06am] I’m also living on nothing but coffee for the past three days 

[2:07am] This is where the epiphany came from and she's really cute when she's stressed, but don't tell her I said that 

** 

[3:06pm]  _Lucy is pissed_  

[3:06pm]  _And talking about how Lena forgot about the shovel talk_  

[3:06pm]  _I’m sorry it didn’t work out, kid_  

[3:08pm]  _We’re here for you_  

It’s okay [4:07pm] 

It’s not. 

I’m okay [4:10pm] 

She really isn’t. 

Thank you [4:15pm] 

** 

The avoid each other. Winn gets the worse of it. 

(“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

“I don’t wanna think about her.”) 

Kara never thought they could go back to the shy smiles across the hall or the rushed words they shared on the couple of minutes they saw each other.  

Kara never thought they would go back to the friends but never quite friend's thing they had going on their sophomore year. Honestly? She never thought she wouldn't be able to hold Lena's hand anymore.  

The week passes and every day she sees less and less of her. 

Nevertheless, the glimpses she gets never bring any sort of comfort. Because she looks worse every time their eyes meet.  

And if she thought the whole mess with James the previous year was bad, she was wrong. Oh, boy, was she wrong.  

(She cries in the bathroom the first time she sees Lena again, because Lena doesn’t wear the wristband anymore.) 

** 

Eliza quits her job because she was offered a better one. It's not unusual, and definitely not the first time Eliza traded jobs, it's just too well timed. 

And when the words process Kara is left standing at the edge of the counter as Eliza fishes for her keys on her bag.  

"You got a job offer?" 

"Yeah, from Luthor Corp new headquarters, actually. Ring any bells?" 

"Metropolis?" 

"Meaning?"  

Lena. It always comes back to Lena.  

"I would go back to Metropolis for holidays and breaks. You'd do that? For me?" 

"Kara, I built my life here and as much as love this place there's not much left. Alex doesn't plan on coming back and I presume neither does you, Jeremiah is gone and I love my job, I do, but sometimes I think I can do so much more. Just, not here." She smiles warmly, brings the pad of her thumbs to stroke away the tears on Kara's cheeks. "Besides, Metropolis is middle ground between you and your sister." 

"And it's all ground for Lena." 

Eliza smiles and opens her arms, it's enough of an invitation for Kara.  

** 

She goes to Lena's house only to be greeted by Lionel.  

"Lena is not home."  

It's an obvious statement. It's something Kara has made sure before she went there, because this was not something she wanted to discuss with her… whatever they were now watching them.  

"I wanted to talk to you." 

He steps aside to make as much room as possible for Kara to go in, and different than the other times, Kara feels small.  

Smaller than she's ever been.  

Because this, this could be everything or nothing at all. This could mean approval or rejection. This could mean another chance or… 

But she holds her head high, waits for Lionel to clear the door behind her and motions for her to follow him to the living room.  

Lionel sits on the corner of the couch, brings one leg up to rest an ankle on his thigh and waits. 

"Thank you." 

"Excuse me?" 

"Thank you. For Eliza." 

"I don't know what you're talking about, miss Danvers." But the smirk he unleashes shows just how much he knows. 

Lionel clears his throat, leans forward to grab the newspaper on the center table and opens it at a random page. 

"For some reason I didn't understand, my daughter was, my daughter is very fond of you. And you make her happy, her happiest in all honesty. Luthor-Corp is expanding and neither Lex nor I would let teenage drama get in between Lena's happiness. It wasn't really hard to figure it out." 

"I don't know how to thank you." 

"Make my daughter happy for as long as both of you agree on that. Does that mean I should wait for an acceptance by, let's say, tomorrow?" 

"Yes, Ms. Luthor. You can." 

"Hey, Kara," he calls over when she's preparing herself to leave "it's Lionel for you, just not in front of Lillian. Sometimes she scares me too." He winks at her.  

** 

Lena is waiting for her on her locker the following Monday. She looks terrible, with the bags under her eyes deeper than they've ever been, the redness in her eyes in a stubbornness to leave, her jaw as tight as it's ever been. But, for Kara, she has never looked more real.  

They don't talk when she gets near enough to touch, instead Lena leans in, rests her forehead against Kara's chest and reaches out for her hand. Kara never wants to let her go and, by the way Lena's crying against her shirt, she thinks Lena agrees on that.  

"Don't leave again." 

"I won't. I can’t believe I thought I could be without you." She feels more than she heard the intake of breath, she feels the light press of lips against her neck, she feels everything. And it's all so incredibly Lena she can hardly believe she went days without this. "I'm sorry." 

"It's okay." 

"Except that it's not." Kara tries to lean back, to look into green eyes she's missed so much, but Lena doesn't move. Lena doesn't seem to want to let her go any time soon. "I’m really sorry.” 

“Then make it up to me.” 

Lena chuckles against her neck, mumbles a light “jerk” against her skin. She doesn’t let go. 

They skip first period that day. (And second, and third.) 

** 

The championship is decided on penalties this year. Kara opens their penalty kicks with a high, hard finish to her right, and then waits until their goalkeeper stops one and the following goes out. 

She's sure her heart stops beating for a minute at that moment. 

This time, she doesn’t freeze, sprinting towards the sideline instead, where Alex is almost throwing herself at the field, only being stopped by Lucy’s hand on her shirt.  

Kara climbs it, make some room to herself in the middle of her family to hug her sister and extend a hand towards her mother. And she cries, out of frustration mostly and Alex lets her. 

“You’re still fucking gross.” 

“I love you too, Alex.” 

“Stop swearing next to your sister, honey.” 

“Whatever, mom.” Alex puts an arm of distance between them, thumbs brushing with every bit of affection she could muster, Lucy on her side with a matching expression. "I'm so proud of you kid. Now, it's the time I tell you to go get the girl, so you finish your clichéd High School with a fancy prom you'll so regret later. But I guess you already got her two years ago and I know Lena, you're not going to prom, so, would you like to go kiss your girlfriend?" 

"Full of speeches for your sister, but you tell me you "kinda likes me". I see you, Danvers." 

Kara lets out a watery laugh, but nods anyway. 

"I would." 

As Lena kisses her, all sweaty, dirty and tired, the only thought through her mind is  _a fucking cliché indeed._  

** 

May arrives fast.  

In between their SAT's (Lena definitely going to Metropolis for a double major and Kara closing with Drew and their full scholarship in her bachelor of arts), at their final terms and enjoying the simplest moments she has with her girlfriend; May comes way too fast for her liking.  

And Lena sits on the edge of her bed, eyeing Kara with caution and handing her whatever she might need for another camp with the National Team; Kara always trading her gear for a kiss in pouting lips. 

She kneels in front of Lena, hands easily sliding into each other's and they smile. 

"We can do this, right?" 

"We can." Kara reassures. Herself? Lena? Both? "I can promise you that I'm gonna try my best. I can promise you that I love you. Good enough?" 

"It'll have to be."  

Kara rests her chin on Lena's thigh, snuggles her cheek further into the warmth she found there. 

"We're gonna make this work." 

** 

(They don’t.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, you can find me on tumblr: @BroodyJC

**Author's Note:**

> Currently working on the secod chapter, the thing is, I'm really bad at putting deadlines and sticking to them. I'll post this eventually
> 
> Find me on tumblr: @broodyJC


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